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When My New Baby Felt Like a Stranger

By Carla Saulter | Twitter: @seattlebuschick The first moment I saw my foster son, “Baby S,” he was 16 months old, perched on his caseworker’s hip in my entry. It was 7:30pm on a Wednesday, and he had just been removed from the home of relatives who were no longer willing to care for him. Instead of joy, or the instant, visceral love I felt in my first moments with my … [Read More]

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The Intimacy of Unknowing

I am really terrible at keeping secrets. You can tell within seconds if I have something to hide by the look on my face. If it’s a good surprise, I will probably … [Read More]

I Insist This Is A Love Story

I insist this is a love story. I was twelve or 13, and I was in bed, crying, because earlier that day, I looked down at one of the desks I passed in class, and … [Read More]

Posts

Love Liberates

Men trapped under cruel taskmasters in the brickyards of Egypt and women losing still-swaddled sons to the watery grave of the Great River. Land, livestock and … [Read More]

Love Ordains

I preached a sermon on discovery, dreams, and love. Then I pronounced them man and wife in the lush green grounds of Belle Villa Resort, Thailand, beneath the warm … [Read More]

Featured Stories

The Red Couch: The Irrational Season Discussion

To learn more about The Irrational Season, please read the introductory post. Be sure to peruse The Nightstand in that post, which has resources for those wanting to learn more about the topic and themes of this month’s selection. I didn't know when that … [Read More]

The Day He Asked Her to Dinner

My husband John was passing through an airport when a bright yellow card with "sunshine" on it drew his attention. It reminded him of our eldest daughter, whose middle name is Sunshine. He was missing his girls—aged 8,7 and 5—as life had become increasingly … [Read More]

I Did Not Run

When people share their “I knew I loved him when …” stories, I often imagine violin music in the background. Possibly bouquets of flowers. Often some bold, public display. Swooning. Definitely swooning. My own “I know I loved him when” story is uglier. … [Read More]

The Ordinary Stories I Tell

"Tell me a love story," they say. My two little girls are obsessed with princes and princesses and stories ending in marriage and a kiss. They want to hear about a man and a woman and a beautiful, fluffy white dress. They want there to be a dangerous and … [Read More]

For the Love of Hospital Masks and Awkward Pauses

I didn’t date much in high school. Trust me, it was a good thing. I was a bookish little nerd, wildly insecure about every ounce of myself, and legitimately afraid of the opposite sex until I was 16. When I got nervous, I spoke at a pace only the Gilmore … [Read More]

An Equality Love Story

I didn’t always have an egalitarian marriage.   In the Christian culture that was part of our early marriage, “egalitarian” wasn’t a word I ever heard. In fact, I never heard the word "complementarian" in any of the bible studies and small groups I was in, … [Read More]

Rightmaker of My Soul

The Bible is both beautifully redemptive to me and painfully problematic. I can’t help but come to it with my story, so that in the same scripture I can hear both the sounds of freedom and the justifications for racism. I can hear the beautiful promises of … [Read More]

Who is this King of Glory?

by Hannah Kallio When I read the Bible, I look for questions more than answers. I'm fascinated by how Jesus often answers questions with another question, not to be evasive, but to show respect for the intellect of his questioners and take the … [Read More]

What Do I Even Believe Anymore?

It feels like a ribbed seam along the neckline, this awareness. The thoughts, they come among my everyday movements and they rub, this way and that. Sometimes they tug and distract, other times, they just chafe. And other days, I’m numb, not unlike skin that … [Read More]

What Is This Season For?

One of my daughter’s first words is “moon.” She points it out in her storybooks and is really excited if she spots it in the sky. I love that she notices. I love that, because of her, I get to watch the waxing and waning of that beautiful silver globe through … [Read More]

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