Closure: Saying Goodbye

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On grieving what was to make space for what lies ahead.

By Natasha Files | Twitter: @natashafiles

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Reflecting on what I have learned during this journey of writing a SheLoves wellness post on Wednesdays, it has come to my attention that everything is as it should be. Yes, I will miss sharing my passion with a community of equally passionate women, but closure for this piece means space for other amazing women to share, and room for me to learn.

Until recently I regarded the word “closure” to be very negative. How can a word used to describe the termination of something good, be anything but depressing? I focused on what I was losing, rather than what would fill the new space and negated to acknowledge my need to grieve transitions in a healthy way.

Growing & Grieving

With a few big transitions in the past eight months, I have become a bit accustomed to moving and grieving. Becoming accustomed doesn’t make me a pro, but I feel that all this change has forced me to sink or swim in the land of growth.

Embracing the unfamiliar seems daunting, especially when it means saying goodbye to everything comfortable. These last two weeks I have needed to remind myself that being sad is a valid emotion during times of closure, even when tears come unexpectedly at inconvenient times. For example: in the middle of a class discussion about government policy on the second day of school. Yep.

Recognizing the many reasons I have loved writing for SheLoves magazine, leaves me wanting to “cut and run” in order to avoid the pain of leaving. “Cut and run,” to me, would mean I isolate from the community in order to forget the reasons I love it so much. I know this isn’t healthy, but I also know I am not the only individual who would rather isolate from a love rather than acknowledge the pain. I took time to journal the healthy ways I will process this closure and hope you will also find them helpful, if you ever find yourself in a place of termination.

Here’s how I processed:

1) I defined the painful situation.

2) I acknowledged my emotions and their significance.

3) I identified the aspects of my life that require extra attention this season.

4) I brainstormed ways to address the grief that will inevitably follow.

5) I reminded myself that this pain is normal, valid, and will not last forever.

I sit here slightly dazed. Processing the many aspects of how this space has empowered me, I can’t help but be grateful for a community of participants who are willing to be real. Someone once encouraged me with these words: “Life and time will continue ticking, but it is up to you whether you genuinely participate in each moment and make it count.”

It is obvious that the women of SheLoves (both readers and writers) are individuals who have chosen to participate in each moment. We recognize the importance of walking with arms linked, calling affirmations to those ahead and behind, because it is by working together that we can surpass any potential hurdles to life.

Thank you for being a part of something more powerful than any of us can understand. I am honoured to be a participant in this community and look forward to following others as they continue to share Truth with the world wide web.

Much love always and forever,

Tash xo

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–>>Editor’s note: I have treasured these weekly posts from Natasha. She was one of our first regular SheLoves contributors and helped give momentum and a hearbeat to our site. I will always be grateful for that.

Love you, Natasha, and catch you on the other side of your Masters degree! –idelette xoxo

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About Natasha:
Natasha Files is Case Manager with a Mental Health and Addictions Team. She has experience working with youth and adults struggling with a variety of life-controlling issues and she specializes in eating disorders. Natasha’s passion for mental wellness began when she personally experienced the impact of a genuinely caring professional. That passion is paired with a love of espresso, only to be overshadowed by her desire to see women set free from life-controlling issues.

Image credit: Untitled, by  Adam Piggott

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Natasha Files

Natasha Files

Natasha is a Youth Worker and Mental Health Advocate specializing in the area of eating disorders. Her passion for mental wellness is paired with a love of espresso, only to be overshadowed by her desire to see women set free from life-controlling issues.
Natasha Files
  • Kelley Johnson Nikondeha

    Natasha~ I am grateful for your faithfulness each Wednesday to share, educate and process life with us. I am so excited for you to embrace another season of education… nothing like learning! You have left a legacy on Wednesdays that we will always savor – always. I wish you God’s best as you stand on this new threshold – strolling through the liminal space to dive into something new and filled with promise. Blessings to you!

  • Amanda

    Natasha
    I wish you all the best on this journey ahead! I have so enjoyed and grown from the times you have shared.
    Thank you for being a part of the SheLoves team!

  • Ashley

    Totally feel you on the random bursts of tears. For your own amusement here is a list of random places i have grieved openly:

    – treadmill at the gym
    – save-on-foods
    – several different flights (almost always during take off… your counseling efforts on this one are welcome)
    – the bank (which didn’t invoke the kindest reaction from the tellers or security guards)

    I’ve loved your posts Tash- thank you so much for sharing from your heart and for sheloves counseling me! Love you <3

  • http://www.fakeleft.com/blog/ Stephanie Motz Skinner

    Dear Natasha,

    I’ve really appreciated your honesty and wisdom. I often felt like I needed to print your posts and stick them on my wall as they were great reminders. Thanks for being real and for sharing so many life lessons with us and encouraging us. Many of the posts you shared made me feel connected, like I wasn’t alone in many of my struggles and experiences and there are simple things I can do to take care of myself. Thank you! I will go through them again and again to remind myself of your simple yet valuable advice.

    Wishing you an amazing new season!
    xoxo