Samson, Delilah and Why Dating Scares Me

“I figure the only way we can keep from losing it completely—pulling a “Samson” and shaving all our hair off—is by holding onto our purpose.”

By Ashley Mandanici | Twitter: @ashleymandanici

My friend is dating this guy, and she is just not that into him.

Don’t get me wrong; he seems nice enough. Educated, talented, good-looking.

But she is just not that into him.

I keep asking her why she’s still dating him. Meanwhile, I see a flashback to a few months ago, when she was asking me the same question about a guy I was dating.

We both expressed similar feelings about dating, primarily, that it tends to feel awkward and unnatural. To put it into perspective, I feel more comfortable on job interviews than I do on most dates.

Singleness and the 20-something

Both my friend and I are in our mid-twenties. We are both rational enough to understand we should not panic about being single; however, we realize there are certain variables nagging at us. These variables include, but are not limited to:

1. Boredom

Because your mom isn’t always a suitable Friday night date solution.

2. Age

The other day I checked Facebook to find a kid I taught in Kids Church is engaged! Engaged to be married, not just engaged in the new Twilight saga. I felt old.

3. Sexy time

I’ve never had sexy time, but I’ve heard good things.

4. Social pressure

This point is my personal favourite, as it tends to accompany the best conversation topics in social environments. Example:

“Ashley, why aren’t you married yet?”

“Well, Random Guest at Friend’s Wedding, I’ve been so busy beating off all the eligible bachelors who keep throwing themselves at me that I just can’t seem to find the time.”

Conversations

After a three-hour-long conversation with my friend in which we beat this topic into the ground, I hung up the phone more confused than when WE started.

Clarity from a godly source

With all of this dating and relationship confusion, I figured I would go to the Bible for some clarity.

In His infinite wisdom, God brought me to the book of Judges, Chapter 16—the story of Samson and Delilah.

There are a lot of peculiar relationships in the Bible, but Samson and Delilah’s has to be one of the top ten weirdest.

To make sure we’re all on the same page, Auntie Ashley is going to give her condensed, children’s church version of the story.

______________________________________________________

Story Time with Auntie Ashley

My brilliant friend, Katelyn, is helping me with the illustrations. It seems only right that we have teamed up, as I remember Katelyn putting together many brilliant caricatures documenting my high school teenage heartbreaks.

So, criss-cross-apple-sauce everyone (that’s pre-schooler for “sit down and stop talking”), while Auntie Ashley tells you the magical tale of Samson and Delilah.

Samson was born with a clear purpose from God: to save the Israelites from the Philistines. Samson was amazingly strong… so long as he didn’t cut his hair. (He was also banned from eating grapes or raisins, or touching dead bodies—but that’s not important to the story.)

Samson had lousy taste in women and fell in love with a woman named Delilah.

The Philistines convinced Delilah to find the source of Samson’s strength. Delilah nagged Samson into submission, and he finally told her the source of his power.

Delilah cut Samson's hair—his source of power—and then sold him out to the Philistines

The Philistines overtook him, jabbed his eyes out, and tied him to two pillars in their temple.

In one last moment of strength and repentance to God, Samson pulled down the pillars of the temple and killed a whole crowd of Philistines and himself.

The end.

If I were telling this story to a group of pre-schoolers in Kids Church, this would be the point they might look at me with horror in their eyes.

Samson’s story and mine

I realized something as I thought more about this story. This story is not about Delilah. This story is not even about Samson. This story is about God’s purpose for Samson.

No, nix that, this story is about God’s purpose.

The greatest tragedy in the story of Samson’s life is how quickly he abandoned himself to his own desires and entirely forgot his God-given purpose. Just a little bit of nagging from Delilah, and his vision was removed, figuratively and literally.

I started thinking about my friend and I, and how this lesson applied to us. What does Samson and Delilah have to do with the fact that the very thought of dating made us both seasick?

I discovered that the common denominator is this: nagging. The three of us (Samson, my friend and I) have had things nagging at us!

For Samson, it was Delilah; for my friend and I, it is a collection of lists. Lists of all the things we should have accomplished by our age, lists of all the men we should have dated and how far we should have gone with them. Dating is not necessarily our problem; the issue is the purpose of why we are dating.

I figure the only way we can keep from losing it completely—pulling a “Samson” and shaving all our hair off—is by holding onto our purpose.

In my last article I shared my “one sentence,” my purpose statement if you will. Now, I’m very glad I have said purpose statement.

But Samson knew his purpose too—and look how he wound up!

It is not enough to know my purpose; I need to hold onto it when the rest of the world is nagging at me to do something else. Because, let’s face it, it is not really my purpose, it’s God’s. And He’s going to get the job done whether I cooperate or not.

About Ashley:

My name is Ashley and I am the Children’s Ministry Coordinator at Relate Church in Surrey, B.C. My mission is to develop the God-given potential in every child who crosses my path *Insert Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” here*. I love all things jazzy, particularly music, and I tend to break into song throughout the day for no apparent reason. I blog here and tweet @AshleyMandanici

About Katelyn:

Katelyn Szekeres is the writer of the blog, oddbutnice.com where she details her neurotic childhood, marriage and sometimes-evil cat, Gizmo. When she’s not doing that, she works as a Mental Health Worker, makes weird crafts, takes lots of photos and plans where she will be traveling next!

Photo credit: Cali4beach