Letting Go of the Should Have’s and the Could Have’s.
By Donna Schwartz
Some days I wake up feeling very confused. Who the heck am I and what am I supposed to be doing? Of course there is laundry, or sorting through all the papers that need to be filed and reorganized. And then there is the issue of weight and why have I been such a failure at it?
And of course there is the guilt I feel for not having connected with some friends that I love but haven’t made the time for, for whatever reason. The house wasn’t clean enough to invite them over; I didn’t know what to feed them. What would be the right day? Oh well, let’s not think about it right now. And then there is the blank canvas leaning against my sofa, waiting to have a transformation and be the latest “pop art” in my living room, but then again … What if I don’t like it when I am finished and then I will have wasted $60 on a canvas–that would be good for a little more guilt. Oh ya and back to the weight loss or lack of weight loss that keeps me in bondage to poor self esteem and a reminder of how undisciplined I really am.
There are so many things to do: social injustices to be involved in; visits to my 95-year-old Aunty; taking a dinner to my son and his family; taking time to pray and seek the Lord for all of the above … Why aren’t I praying more for my friend’s sister who is struggling with cancer in her body and the young boy who tried to take his life, but God spared it; but for sure there is a still a road of recovery. There are the people I know who are struggling in their marriage; with their children; mental illness that seems to be so rampant today.
Oh my brain gets so tired thinking of all these things and what am I to do?
But then …. there is God. Yes, yes, that’s it. I have left HIM out of the equation. Of course. What does God have to to say about all of this?
My quiet time this morning with Sarah Young’s book Jesus Calling:
Let my love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive my Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones.
Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.
Yes, my heart will rest in you, God.
My name is Donna. I am a mother of two sons and grandmother of two grandsons. I love all the roles I get to play in this space and time called “My Life”: Mom, gramma, daughter, sister, sister in law, mother-in-law, friend, colleague, etc. How each role is uniquely different yet so important.
I have worked in the health care field as an Administrative Assistant for most of my career. I love to travel and had an opportunity to work in the United Arab Emitrates for 3.5 years for InterHealth Canada. While there, I wrote a few articles in our company newletter of different travel experiences I had throughout the Emirates.
I have a passion to encourage women to be all they can be–to “Dream Big” and not be limited by fear of the unknown or fear of failure … Our wonderful Heavenly Father has given each of us gifts that He wants us to develop and share with others. Let’s get out and change our world!
Harvest, by Yarik Mishin
Donna, by Judith Laurel Photography