Sarah ~ I love the dark night, the time of stillness and cooled quiet. I love watching my babes breath gently by the dim light of the nightlight… sprawled out and tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows and teddy bears. I watch and reflect on the day, knowing that their bodies (hearts and minds, too , I imagine) are absorbing all the activities of the day. Now, at night, is when they soak in the words and lessons learned and incorporate it into who they will wake up to be in the morning… or at least I pray that is so! Each day they become more of who they truly are, but night time is when it happens. Maybe it is the contemplative in me that sees the power of stillness, quiet, not contending but ‘letting come’ and prays it will be so for my little ones.

I am with you, Sarah, night time is a balm to our maternal soul! I am grateful, today, that my children still love to share the same bed and giggle themselves to sleep. And as she is outgrowing shoes just bought, and he has outgrown all his long pants… I am grateful they are growing healthy and strong and as bodies are designed to grow!

Thanks, Sarah. You remind me that I am more of a mother than I sometimes give myself credit for! I’ll send a good wish your way tonight… when all is dark and still and good.

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:51

I need to remind myself of your words – my tinies grow out of EVERYTHING so fast. There is good in that, too. And yes, we are all better mothers than we give ourselves credit for – we’re always so hard on ourselves, aren’t we?

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beautiful words. i miss those years, so you are right to cherish them. i am thankful for healing, slow healing of ancient pain. that he knows me, knew me from before time … he loves me.

https://logicandimagination.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/6571/

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:52

Amen.

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this is so wonderful. So glad to be apart of this sisterhood, even if mine just climbed in our bed with her pillow and blankie last night

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:52

Our 3-year-old is the one that is usually doing that, too! I love it.

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I absolutely love this. Your words give my heart a voice.

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oh my, goosebumps. This is breathtakingly beautiful. Thank you for this. <3

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Beautiful. It is a wonderful time. <3

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this is truly lovely Sarah–thank you. I’m thankful that my V woke up as someone else, specifically a Wonder Pet by the name of Ming Ming & she even went to church with a pair of pants on her head (because it was her hat of course) & kept reminding people she was Ming Ming. I love her imagination & thankful that God shows me her value through it.

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:53

That is absolutely brilliant! What a great kid.

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Sarah, this is absolutely beautifully written, as usual. “The monastery of the baby’s room…” You have such a gift for conveying this pure truth. I take such joy in reading your accounts of motherhood. Thank you!

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Your writing is always so compelling, but this one especially got me where my mind and heart already were. It took me having a baby with Spinal Muscular Atrophy to be thankful for the quiet midnight hours he and I shared just a year ago when he was born, his every breath, his amazing smile, his fingers searching for little playthings even in his sleep–and his expressive, wriggling feet. In this time when I am a mother being beautifully but painfully refined by God by this gift, I am thankful for my little Dylan and for his big brother, whose babyhood long left his face and his sweet, lanky limbs, his health, his dramatic reenactments of Home Alone and Franklin, and his tender, frequent hugs and I Love Yous. I wish I had appreciated those baby years with him more at the time–even though I remember how we relished him–how I wished at that time I could capture the full sense-memory of his infancy. Thank you for helping me remember!

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:53

Beautiful, T. Just beautiful. I am learning so much from you as you walk this path. Praying always.

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sweet sarah- love this post. i am thankful for the blessing that on December 9th i will walk away from the full-time corporate world to a life of full-time mommy. i look forward to more little moments. i look forward to missing less and making more memories. they are a blessing and time is fleeting. thank you for this reminder!!

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:54

Big step, Melissa! Happy for you and your new life ahead. Big changes but like you said, the little moments are big memories. Beautiful.

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Absolutely beautiful post! I love this line… “It’s taken three babies to learn that it goes too fast, that the days may be long but the years, oh, my heart, the years are flying” It is so true. As the mother now of not-so-tiny 14 and 18 year old girls, the years do go by fast! Today I just want to say that I am enjoying the gift of knowing that my college-girl, who I miss terribly, is home for Thanksgiving week and peacefully sleeping upstairs in her own room, right where she should be, and that she’ll be awake soon and I get to enjoy some time with her today all to myself! And the blessing of this tough lesson of letting her go is in the reminder to not take for granted the years I still have with my younger daughter…

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Sarah Bessey Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 08:54

Such good wisdom, Kay. I hope you have a wonderful, full week with your girls.

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Thank you for this. I thought I was the only one who resented all of those middle of the night feedings and being exhausted, only to find with my third child I no longer felt that way. My youngest is now 20 months and I already miss her being so small and don’t even feel annoyed if she needs a blanket or kiss in the night. I wish I could have understood with my first two just how fast is goes and I could have enjoyed myself instead of fighting it. I pray that more mothers realize sooner in their careers that it’s gone in an instant and that they too can enjoy this time with reckless abandon.

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My third little is about to turn two, and oh I relish the nights when she calls and the quiet poetic of night in her room. I remember all the years of 2am feeding when the rain would fall and I reminded myself in those moments to remember. And I’m so glad I did – secret stored worlds rocking always under my skin. It took me three babies. Thanks for such beautiful words describing the shared midnight space of motherhood. Good to see you there

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Beautiful. Thank you, Sister.

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For me to embrace the night, it took the realization that I was not going to have a million kids like I thought when I was theologically against all birth control. The idea that this time actually was limited made me want to cherish it for the first time.

Today I am thankful for a 4 year old who falls over herself in her desire to “help” her mama, a 3 year old who tackles me with big bear hugs and whispers “you are my best mama!”, a 2 year old who listens with rapt attention to the same book over and over, and a 6 month old who burst into a glorious ear-to-ear smile everytime I say hello to him.

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All of these messages brought me back to so many years ago. I still remember those times in the middle of the night comforting and feeding my three little girls each a couple years apart. I remember it like it was yesterday. They are now in their 50′s and have children and grandchildren of their own. The memories are still sweet, just as my girls are still sweet.

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[...] the dark midnight times, are the hours of the mothers.”–From: The Smallest Things, by Sarah Styles [...]

Funny how it suddenly strikes you – the little things…it took the loss of my mother for me to work it all out.
I am now a self-confessed obsessive saver of the memories and ‘little things’!

http://saveeverystep.wordpress.com – family stories past and present

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Thank you so much Sarah for such a beautiful piece. I love that it took you awhile to learn; I have two toddlers, and everything you say resonates with my learning curve Esp love this “Thank you for every small moment, healing something big for us all,/ for the joys that masquerade–hiding–as daily life.”. Thanks again!

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Thank you Sarah – such beautiful words. Luckily I had a hunch with my first, but finally worked it out properly with my second. We had our (now 4 year old) fisrt born in the bassinet in our room, but started co-sleeping with him at two after an overseas holiday where we shared a bed and never looked back … I now co-sleep with my 9 month old (my husband’s still in with my 4 y/o) and it is one of the most precious, beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. I cherish every hot little breath on the back of my neck. It’s such an honour to be able to share such an intimate time with him. He usually wakes at least once for a feed – he wakes me gently by snuffling quietly. I feed him in the dim light – a dream feed to both of us – and then we fall back to sleep together again. I’m woken in the morning by his happy little giggles and his fingers gently curling around the tufts of hair at the base of my hairline and giving a little tug. Beautiful! I am blessed. We are blessed – us mothers.

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