As Others Feast, I Wake

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“As we enter a season where consumption is at its highest and I, like so many others, struggle to retain any sense of the true meaning of need, I feel convicted.”

I have listened and learned this month.

I have wept and laughed as so many of you have shared stories of feasting, about what it means to you: the joy, the sadness and the yearning.

You’ve talked about nourishing your bodies, minds and souls with all that is good and holy in life. But everything inside me is telling me to stop.

Stop feasting.

Instead of feasting on more in life, I feel a strong conviction to take in less—at least where I’m standing right now. My conscience is weighed down, my mind filled with recurrent images of disrobing, both in a physical and spiritual sense.

I sense God is telling me to stop. Stop revelling in the adornments that mean nothing in the light of eternity—the clothes, the shoes, the jewelry, the house decor. All of these things that I am drawn to for their beauty have become temptations that distract me from life; diversions that I use to fill needs that no earthly objects can ever truly fill.

I’m using them to avoid facing myself.

I am hungry. For what may take a lifetime to truly know. Fullness of life? Love? Peace? Connection? I’m hungry for all of it.

And God doesn’t want me to satiate that hunger with material objects, or the chocolate that seems to magically appear when I’m overwhelmed. He wants me to stand in that place where I am raw, where I can feel and grow.

He literally wants me to disrobe, to stop buying clothes and start finding useful outlets for my money. And in doing so, in stripping away those worldly things that can never satisfy my egoistic “needs,” I will be in a position to receive. His teaching. His love. His direction.

It’s funny how God speaks to me. A year ago I wasn’t aware of my habitual over-consuming—or at least, if I was, I chose to ignore it. It was a non-issue. But I was feasting on everything that dulled my true needs. And it’s not something that someone in my life has convicted in me. It’s a sense, a feeling, a picture in my head. Something I can’t shake.

An awakening.

And oh, how I’m resisting. As we enter a season where consumption is at its highest and I, like so many others, struggle to retain any sense of the true meaning of need, I feel convicted by God. And I find myself wishing God would wait until the New Year.

As this month draws to a close and I reflect on our collective thoughts about feasting, I feel compelled to strip away the needs of the flesh and feast only on love.

God wants to meet me at my most humble, my most basic. God wants to see me without the adornments, exposed and vulnerable before Him.

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My dear SheLoves sisters, I’d love to hear:

  •  How does God convict you when you feast on the things that numb your feelings?
  • When have you felt compelled to consume less?
  • Any other thoughts?
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Claire De Boer
Hi, I’m Claire and though you may only see my words here once a month I’m part of the wonderful sisterhood of women who edit, upload and brainstorm behind the scenes of SheLoves. I was born and raised in England but pretty much see myself as a fully fledged Canadian. I spend just about all of my spare time blogging, editing and creating stories. I’ve also ventured into the world of teaching and mentor students in using writing as a tool for personal growth. My passion is to help others find the value and beauty in their stories and to find healing or self-awareness via journaling, memoir, or just "soul writing", as I like to call it. To learn more about my journey and the work I'm doing visit The Gift of Writing
Claire De Boer
Claire De Boer

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