Healing at the Speed of Love


“Their love seemed to be speeding my healing process.”

By Amelia Englemark | Twitter: @AmyEnglemark

Around Christmas last year, I began to hobble instead of walk. I had been experiencing a lot of pain in my big toe, endured it for a few weeks and finally decided I’d had enough. Off to the doctor’s office I went. Three needles and one gruesome procedure later, I made my way out of the office, minus a portion of my toenail.

[ends groovy details]

While in pain (which I likened to childbirth, thanks to said toe), I found myself being fully taken care of by my husband and extended family members. My physical abilities were pretty limited and my healing was taking longer than I wanted it to.

I began to realize a greater purpose was unfolding.

My family did everything for me: brought me foot baths, tea and goodies. Not only did they take care of me by bringing me things, but also continually checked in to see how I was feeling. Their love seemed to be speeding my healing process. It also felt like Someone was saying to me,

“You just sit there. Don’t move. I’m going to pour love all over you and because it’s hard for you to walk away right now, you’ll just have to receive it.”

I did. Their love and attention turned out to be my best Christmas present.

I thought I was pretty good at receiving love, but if I’m honest, I have been more accustomed to giving love and “doing” things for others than being on the receiving end of the attention.

Whether I had landed myself inside this ordeal or not, my circumstances provided the opportunity for me to open up and receive more love than I thought I needed.

Here’s what I learned: Pain wanted me to shut down. It wanted me to feel like I’d lost a part of myself. It wanted to tell me I was lacking and didn’t have much to offer others. (Not much of value, anyways.) Pain dared me to lose the skip in my step and wave goodbye to my joy. Pain was just waiting for me to get grumpy and bitter.

I realized it’s ok to need help. Wounded people call for Medics. So, when we get wounded in the battle of life, medics (those lovers around us) offer up the salves and bandages, the words and gestures that make it possible to thrive again.

I even found out that when I let others love me (and I mean let them pour love on me), I healed more quickly.

I highly recommend allowing those around you to show you how much they care. The love of my family felt FABULOUS and more importantly it helped me heal.

Ahh, now I’ve got a warm feeling in my toe heart,



I wonder … 

  • What lessons have you learned from pain?
  • Where do you need to open up and allow others to love on you?
  • Is there someone in your life who may need a little extra love and attention right now?


About Amy:

I am thankful for passion in my career and relationships and want others to enjoy the same. I am a Certified Professional Career and Life Coach and I empower executives and entrepreneurs to find and pursue their career passion. You can get to know me at www.amyenglemark.com.

I love hiking, mountain biking, travelling and any sort of adventure. I like to jump from the highest rock into the deepest water. I like to shout for joy. I blog at AimHighNow and here at SheLoves. I tweet @AmyEnglemark

Idelette McVicker
I like soggy cereal and I would like to go to every spot on the map of the earth to meet our world’s women. I dream of a world where no women or girls are for sale. I dream of a world where women and men are partners in doing the work that brings down a new Heaven on earth. My word last year was “roar” and I learned it’s not about my voice rising as much as it is about our collective voices rising in unison to bring down walls of injustice. This year, my own word is “soar.” I have three children and this place–right here, called shelovesmagazine.com–is my fourth baby. I am African, although my skin colour doesn’t tell you that story. I am also a little bit Chinese, because my heart lives there amongst the tall skyscrapers of Taipei and the mountains of Chiufen. Give me sweet chai and I think I’m in heaven. I live in Vancouver, Canada and I pledged my heart to Scott 11 years ago. I believe in kindness and calling out the song in each other’s hearts. I also believe that Love covers–my gaps, my mistakes and the distances between us. I blog at idelette.com and tweet @idelette.
Idelette McVicker

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  1. Oh Amy, thank you so much for this post. I just had my first child and have been completely laid up due to a few complications with the labour. I have had to be so reliant on my husband, family, and friends, and your words just perfectly expressed where I’ve been at. Feeling as though I can’t fully care for my child or even myself left me guilt ridden. I needed your words today. Thank you for reminding me to receive.

    • Oh Megan,
      I think right after you’ve given birth is one of the best times to receive, receive, receive…and then receive some more. Sure makes you love the people around you even more hey? The best part about it is that those people who are caring for you right now probably feel so happy to be able to give of themselves for YOU. Because you’re worth it! Have a great day and soak up that sweet baby of yours.

  2. Can I have your family! 🙂

    It’s amazing the lessons learned from illness, injury, or incapacitation of any sort. I’m glad you were able to feel the love. That’s a precious gift your family gave you and one you allowed yourself to receive!


    • Yes, I have a VERY special family!
      I’m thankful of the lessons I’ve learned and pray I learn my future lessons quickly so I don’t have to keep repeating my lessons until I’ve got it!

  3. Thank you for sharing your hard-learned lesson here … I can’t even imagine the pain. A very different Christmas for you, wow.

    Many years ago I was at a business seminar and the mantra I learned there still sticks: “I will now allow others to love and support me.” I am definitely more able to love and support others than to let them pour out love on me … I am learning. But I love that you are standing here to share this lesson.

  4. I’m typing this with one hand (my other elbow is recovering from a dislocation) squinting at the screen through inadequate contacts (“These are the strongest samples we have,” they said.), trying to keep working part-time and homeschooling my kids while my husband works obscene hours. This was just the reminder I needed to let this time be one of receiving instead of giving (so much more fun the other way around!) Thanks for your encouraging words.

    • Hi Bethany,
      Wow! Your situation sounds like it requires a lot more of you than mine did. Good on you for pushing forward! Sounds like a little (or a lot) love would be gladly accepted by you. May there be many people who can shower on you right now xo Amy

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