This Being Human is a Guest House

by on February 9, 2013 6 Comments

“When we accept the ‘negative’ emotions, they can move through us and perhaps even teach us something.”

It seems human nature to welcome the “good” or “positive” emotions we feel (joy, excitement), but reject or suppress the “bad” or “negative” ones (anger, sorrow). My dear old friend Tracy sent me this poem by Rumi, and I think it’s a beautiful reminder to embrace whatever emotions we feel and to honour that they are there for a reason.

When we accept the “negative” emotions, they can move through us and perhaps even teach us something. I find that it brings a sense of peace and freedom when I remember to practice this acceptance.

“The Guest House” by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

(from The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)

___________________________

Dear SheLoves friends, we’d love to know:

  • Which lines in this poem ring most beautifully in your ears, and why?
  • Do you differentiate between “good” and “bad” emotions, and how does this habit help or hinder you?
  • What painful emotions have you felt gratitude for?

Image Credit: by Denna Jones

Stefanie Thomas

Stefanie Thomas

Stefanie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor living in Vancouver, BC. She feels blessed to work in a helping profession and is grateful that her work requires her to show up not in a power suit but with listening ears and a compassionate heart. Stefanie enjoys spending time with family and friends and has never met a kid or baby she doesn’t like. She is a noticer and appreciator of birds (chickadees, herons, eagles) and many a beach rock has come home in her pocket. Stefanie is a lover of music, tv and movies, and she is gifted at absorbing and retaining useless pop culture trivia. She loves walking, fresh air, the smell of dirt, and anything of the salt and vinegar persuasion. She can often be found puttering.
Stefanie Thomas

@STsheloves

Stefanie Thomas
Filed Under: inspiration, Loving Myself, Poetry, Wellness, Writing
  • http://twitter.com/teenbug Tina Francis

    Oh man. I LOVE Rumi!

  • JA

    Thank you for introducing me to Rumi. It seems like I have some catching up to do :) I’m sure it’ll balance nicely with P. Neruda.

    I’d like to answer your questions.

    Each line rings true for me b/c only recently have I been identifying my emotions rather than ignoring or suppressing them. I now have a hundred+ adjectives to choose from to name how I feel :)

    Differentiating betw good and bad emotions have helped me tremendously b/c it serves to validate my feelings toward specific triggers. Triggers can range from a cologne scent, a hair style, a particular laughter tone, to simply a word. By naming my initial emotions as ie. “shameful”, I now choose to make them good. ie. “lifted”, “lightened”, “freed”.
    Your last question sounds foreign. It baffled me and I felt somber at the same time. My answer to this would be: powerless + ashamed. These 2 emotions have dictated my entire life. I’m so very grateful that now in my “midlife”, I’ve isolated these two “into a bottle and thrown in the ocean”.

    At this very moment, I’m feeling glorified that I will live the remainder of my life with FREEDOM.

    Thank you for this enlightening piece of gem.- Jane

  • Cheryl Klein

    Oh this poem resonates such visuals for me!
    I personally don’t differentiate between good and bad emotions. There’s no such thing as negative emotions I believe. Emotions are signals telling us that something important is happening. With that said, however, “what makes an emotion negative is the way we deal with it and the interpretation we give it to.” For example, we can suppress, minimize, deny, and/or blame someone else for how we feel. I think any of these methods interfere with the signal(s) our body is trying to receive.

    Love the poem! Thanks for sharing, Stefanie.

  • olivechan

    This is a gem of a poem. Thank you for sharing it, Stefanie.I used to struggle a lot with accepting my “negative” emotions but now I’ve come to a place where I know there are gifts hidden in everything. I wrote a post about my relationship with the feelings associated with depression that has similar themes to this: http://pardonmydustplease.blogspot.ca/2010/04/unexpected-visitor.html

    • Jane

      Thank you, Olive. I replied to your blog. It was so enlightening. Thank you so much!

    • Stefanie

      That’s a beautiful post you wrote, Olive. I love your perspective. Thank you for sharing it!