I Triple Dog Dare You

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There was a dare on my heart while I paced the outskirts of the soccer field. Last night, we invited our local SheLovelys to a fundraiser and we called it, Dare to Be Dangerous. I knew we would give each woman a small felt heart, made with Love by women in Moldova. Women, who had been rescued out of human trafficking and were now beginning to live an empowered story.

I imagined holding the little felt heart in my hand and letting it speak to me of unfulfilled dreams. If I dared challenge other women, how will I challenge myself? What one dangerous thing would I dare to do?

These two words popped into my head: Climb Kilimanjaro.

I gasped. I’ve always wanted to do that. It felt like a thin place. A sacred moment.

On a whim, I shared a little bit of my moment with Scott later that night.

He was horrified.

The poor man thought I wanted to climb Kilimanjaro in the next three months.

He said, I think you should dare yourself to finish your book.

Thud.

I was annoyed. Slightly mad. And gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the night.

But he was right.

I have a history of wanting to make big changes in my life. They seem to come every month around the same time.

Some of us eat chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels. Some crave donuts. I have a history of wanting to move.

There was the month I wanted to move to China.
Then there was the month I wanted to move back to South Africa.
Then there was the other month I wanted to move our family to the inner city of Vancouver.

After several years of marriage, my dear husband finally picked up on a trend. He gently asked, Are you sure this is something you want our family to do? Have you noticed how these big changes tend to come around the same time, every month?

He was very, very gentle. Bless his soul.
He was also very, very right.

I’m a Type Seven on the Enneagram. An Enthusiast. I want to do everything. I focus best when I have a deadline that is bigger and more important than everything else in my life at the time. Considering our full life, that is challenging. Even after I’ve shut the front door …

Writing a book is my Kilimanjaro. It’s something I’d love to do, but it honestly feels indulgent. When the 11-year-old stands before you and pleads, Mommy, can you drive for our all-day field trip, it feels extravagant to say, No, darling. I’m sorry, but I can’t.

My Enneagram Type Seven wants to say, Surely there’s a way to do both? All of it? All the time?

Yes, there are movements to lead. Friends and sisters to love. Children to love and feed. Soccer tournaments and softball games. Field trips. Emails to write. People to meet. But there’s also this ONE thing I need to do now.

So, I’m going to take my husband up on his kind, but slightly annoying suggestion.

In the next three months:

I am not going to climb that beautiful mountain in Tanzania. I am going to climb the Kilimanjaro in my own heart. I am going to finish my manuscript.

There, I said it on the Internet. I’m going public with this mountain.

In the next three months, I am going to finish my manuscript, because I am a dangerous woman.

Then, you also know how I love to invite others along for the journey.

So, today I double dog dare you to find your Kilimanjaro. What is the dangerous dream in your heart? What can you do in the next three months that will make your hair stand up? That may make you sweat? That will make you pray harder than you’ve prayed before? That will be right in line with the person you are called to be?

Or: what is the something that you know you need to do? Now?

It can be something small and courageous. It can be something big. Maybe even medium. You choose. You just have to be able to do it within the next three months.

Jump off a cliff? Swing from a bridge?
Swim in the ocean at night?
Pray for five minutes a day for a cause close to your heart?
Change a diaper. (Don’t laugh. I changed my first diaper in my late twenties.)
Skinny dip in the Pacific? The Atlantic? The Indian Ocean?
Take a painting class?
Read a dangerous book?
Ask a dangerous question?
Run to Abbottsford on a Saturday morning?
Make your first ever beef stew and invite 12 friends to dinner?
Pray “the hours” for a month?
Host an event?
Submit a story somewhere you’ve always dreamed of?

You choose. 

Then, we’re going to put some teeth to our dare.

  1 DARE x DANGEROUS DOLLARS = FREEDOM for more women

We’re not doing this for ourselves. We’re putting it on the line. We’re putting the power of ubuntu into full motion here. I’m going to climb my own Kilimanjaro on behalf of the women of SheLoves AND the women of Moldova. We’re turning our Dare To Be Dangerous into Dangerous Dollars.

Just like we asked neighbours, friends and family to sponsor our half-marathon run a few years ago, we will ask people to sponsor our dreams this time. Something like: Would you help me climb my Kilimanjaro?

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The funds will go to TWO places equally:

1. Half of the money will go to SheLoves, to support our work, so we can create new and fresh ways to mobilize and empower more women, locally, and around the world. We are growing, so we have more expenses to keep this site going. We also have many dreams to do more dangerous things!

2. The other half will go to Beginning of Life: that small Moldovan organization with the very big heart, working to change the statistic that Moldova is the country with the highest rate of human trafficking in the world. They don’t have a big fundraising machine supporting them. The leaders live humbly, but passionately. They have big dreams for more women to know freedom. They do good and beautiful work. (O, how I wish you could ALL meet them!)

What is your Kilimanjaro? What do you dare to do in the next three months?

Can you commit to raising $100 or more? (10 friends x $10 or 4 friends x $25)
Want to join me? Can we do this together?

JUNE 16

In about three months, we’ll report back on our Dare To Be Dangerous stories and deposit our Dangerous Dollars.

On June 16, the local SheLovelys in the Vancouver, Canada area will gather at Milltown Bar and Grill from 7-9pm. We’ll have toasts and high fives and share stories of climbing mountains.

Meanwhile, we’ll gather Dangerous Dollar donations online here, with the final day to donate at midnight (PST) on June 16. You can send your stories to shelovesmagazine @ gmail.com Let us know how this is moving you or join us at our Facebook group: DARE TO BE DANGEROUS.

I dare you to be dangerous, for you, for us and for the global sisterhood of women.

Let’s go be our most dangerous glorious, most fully awake self.
Let’s move into those thin places where Heaven and Earth meet, where we feel most fully alive.

I dare you. I dare me.
In the next three months, let’s climb some Kilimanjaros.
I triple dog dare us.

__________________

Ready to Share Your DARE?

1. Take a selfie with your DARE TO BE DANGEROUS and share it with us on Instagram or Twitter at #dangerousdollars and #dare2bdangerous. Tag us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. We’d love to share your DARES with our community.

2. JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP.

3. Why not DARE a friend to join you?

idelette triple dog dare

_____________________

Want to know more about Beginning  of Life in Moldova?

I’ve written two posts here:
Moldova on my lips
My Freedom is Bound to Yours

And here’s Tina’s gorgeous post: Feast, Pray, Love

If you need a little inspiration for our climb, here’s Johnny Clegg and Juluku’s song: I’m Sitting on Top of Kilimanjaro.

_________________

Image credit: Roman Boed

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Idelette McVicker
I like soggy cereal and I would like to go to every spot on the map of the earth to meet our world’s women. I dream of a world where no women or girls are for sale. I dream of a world where women and men are partners in doing the work that brings down a new Heaven on earth. My word last year was “roar” and I learned it’s not about my voice rising as much as it is about our collective voices rising in unison to bring down walls of injustice. This year, my own word is “soar.” I have three children and this place–right here, called shelovesmagazine.com–is my fourth baby. I am African, although my skin colour doesn’t tell you that story. I am also a little bit Chinese, because my heart lives there amongst the tall skyscrapers of Taipei and the mountains of Chiufen. Give me sweet chai and I think I’m in heaven. I live in Vancouver, Canada and I pledged my heart to Scott 11 years ago. I believe in kindness and calling out the song in each other’s hearts. I also believe that Love covers–my gaps, my mistakes and the distances between us. I blog at idelette.com and tweet @idelette.
Idelette McVicker

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Idelette McVicker
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  • Yes!! Love this idea.
    And also – I can relate to wanting to do All The Things. I’m feeling especially restless right now.
    I’m gonna think about what my Kilimanjaro is. I suspect it’s, like you, finally finishing my M.E. Memoir. In three months. Or maybe 4…
    Thanks for the inspiration!

    • That sounds like a wonderful goal, Tanya … Maybe set a goal for a few chapters then by June 16? I can only imagine how powerful it will be … But: no pressure. May you be blessed as you write. xoxo

  • Bev Murrill

    I also am an Enthusiast… and a big dare person. Sometimes I think I would never turn down a dare (unless it involved something like eating something that’s alive). I’ve jumped of the cliff into the water at Rick’s Cafe in Jamaica for my 54th birthday and got the bruises to prove it…

    And I also am working on bringing my dares down to the more mundane… like grinding out the books I should have been writing any time in the last several … years…

    And I’ve got a husband like Scott…

    Thanks for such a strong, funny, ENTHUSIASTIC post, dear leader… God help us, we’ll get there.

    • I am so happy to find another Enthusiast in you, Bev! Leigh told me Shawna Niequist is also a Type Seven, so I have hope … There are books to finish in the midst of our full lives, right?

      I’m with you on the eating parts … not my thing either. Although I’ve been pretty adventurous regading that too. Mopanie worms, snake in Taiwan and a few other things in Taiwan … 😉 I’ve been to Rick’s Cafe! Haha. What a world.

      Love how you cheer us all on, Bev. Sending a big hug to Australia today, full of Love. xoxo

      • Bev Murrill

        Great that you’ve been to Rick’s Cafe… the question is, did you jump?

        Love you too!!

  • Nicole A. Joshua

    This dare exhilarates me and scares me to death, but I am up for the challenge, heart-sister.
    I also love how Scott grounds you – he is awesome. Yay for husbands who support us in ways that challenge, grow and liberate us.
    I am super excited for you finishing your book! Well done for making that commitment in the public space. I’m cheering for you every step of the way.

    • Hehehe. I love your honesty, always.

      And, YES! Yay for husbands who support us in this way. Absolutely.

      I’m going to need some cheering along the way. Thank you, friend. xoxo

      • Nicole A. Joshua

        Love you! ❤️

  • Anne-Marie

    Walking with you up that mountain, but from the reverse side! Goal: submit finished manuscript to publisher in next three months. I have the finished form, but the terror of getting out there. You have to finish but have already found a publisher. Shall we meet at the top? XOXO (and my post this month is about climbing an actual mountain – journey – uncanny eh?)

    • Oooooo, now that’s a DARE! I love it, Anne-Marie. Love that we can climb together and meet at the top. That Juluku song at the bottom says, “I’m sitting on the top of Kilimanjaro!”Can’t wait. xo

    • Erin Wilson

      Yes! Yes you need to climb that mountain, Anne-Marie! We’re with you!

      You were the first to declare your mountain after Idelette’s challenge, and I’m so excited for what is ahead for you! I need a few days to choose mine…because oy! But please hold me to it, Anne-Marie. Can’t leave a friend hanging out here all on her own 🙂

  • HBurns

    I’ve never been prouder of you… I loved hearing your heart last night and again here this morning. Wow, there is NOTHING in me that would ever want to climb a mountain (I am married to the crazy one and I am his Scott – ha!) but I want to cheer you on and I will ponder what I can do too. I’m starting here with pressing the donate button for starters… I love you. Go Idelette go! xo

    • Thank you so much! I take your words to heart, always.

      Haha, you are John’s Scott … We certainly need you. Such a good balance.

      And thank you for your generous donation. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Oh, Idelette! I love when you write like this. You have no idea the things I’ve been contemplating the last couple of weeks, the Kilimanjaros I’m considering. I don’t know yet which direction to go but I’m listening and discerning and I’m completely on board with you. Also, my heart pitterpatted with all this Enneagram talk! xo

    • Thank you, Leigh! I want to HEAR!!!!

      Like I said to Saskia, this is probably what I’m most excited about for this dare: to hear what’s on people’s hearts. That’s my love language. 😉

      A few months ago I subcribed to the Enneathought for the Day. Leah Kostamo got me on that and–o my goodness! I am learning so much about being a Seven … You started ALL this, Leigh. 🙂

  • Saskia Wishart

    Amazing Idelette… You capture so much here. The desire to take on big things, the dare to finish the important things. And your passion for holding up sisters in Moldova … I love Begining of Life for their incredible work. So now I am going to ponder my Kilimanjaro. Not quite certain what it is but this is for sure stirring something.

    • Can’t wait to hear what you decide, Saskia! I think that’s what I’m most excited about … hearing this! More women’s hearts open towards Life and our longings towards goodness.

  • Your husband went straight to the heart of the issue there, didn’t he? And you’re doing the same with us. So excited to see what comes of this dare.

    • He sure does.

      He’s a heart guy … always has been.

      I’m excited too … Letting it all sink in today!

  • This morning I was thinking that I need to take up running again. Another timely post, Idelette! How on earth did you know? 😉 I do have things I want to do this upcoming season, amongst them : running and reading more. Always find group challenges like this VERY motivating. So I’m in. Running and (eventually) more reading for me. And I do want to donate to SheLoves. Very much. I will in the near future by the grace of God.

    • I love when we are walking (running?) in tandem. So beautiful how the Spirit works, right?

      What about getting a specific goal for your running? Something you want to accomplish by June 16. Then ask friends or the people who love you and support you, to donate to your goal?

      So love seeing you here, Ganise.

      xxoxo

  • carameredith.com

    Oh girl, as I was reading this, I’m like is she a seven? She must be a seven …because I’m a seven and everything she’s saying is EXACTLY LIKE ME. And then you busted out with your seven-ness. I’m proud to stand next to you in and with this – and to cheer on your Kilimanjaro. (Will my mountain also be to finish my manuscript ….we shall see).

    • “And then you busted out with your seven-ness.” Hahahahaha. I LOVE you, Cara Meredith. I don’t seem to find many Sevens, so, I am delighted to know I am not the only one wanting to do *everything!* 😉 I can’t wait to hear what your mountain will be … xoxo

  • Susan Evans

    I’m climbing my own Kilimanjaro right now. It seems scary and impossible, but God is transforming me in an area where I will thereafter live in greater freedom.

    • Thanks for reading, Susan! Scary and impossible … sounds like God then, right? I pray a beautiful climb for you.

      • Susan Evans

        Thanks! 🙂

  • What a dare… First, I am super excited for you to own and finish your manuscript. What an amazing accomplishment!! (And, hoping we can all read it soon!) I’m not sure what my own dare will be…. We’re expanding our family this summer and that seems like a challenge in itself, but I’d like to think of something that’s all about me and my own journey. Thanks for getting the wheels turning!

    • Thanks, Annie. I really appreciate that. I think I finally realized the only way for me to do this, is if I go really public with it and make it larger in a way, so I have to focus on it. I’ll keep thinking, I have to show up on June 16 and be accountable. That works for me.

      Expanding a family is surely a different season … I have all the Grace for that. But I imagine you’ll figure something out. I like how you said, “something that’s all about me and my own journey.” I can’t wait to hear. xoxo

  • Oh my goodness…. my heart is racing and my mind is spinning. I’ve been working on a book for so long and have kind of put it on the shelf. Maybe it’s time to give myself a deadline and go public, too……Ok… I’m in!!!
    Oh my…. my heart just leapt into my throat!
    And …. what is a “seven”???

    • O, Lena! WOW! Wonderful! Woohooo!

      About the Enneagram. Leigh Kramer wrote a post for us on it in January and she says this: “The Enneagram (pronounced any-uh-gram) is the study of the 9 basic types of people. It identifies our motivations, while also providing a pathway for individual growth. When viewed from a Christian lens, it helps us identify the ways we hide from ourselves and from God.” You can read her whole post here and she also has some more resources there: http://shelovesmagazine.com/2015/new-year-same-me/

  • Oh boy. I seem to be in a season of accepting dares and challenges. Whatever happened to the woman who always chose “truth” when playing “Truth or Dare?” I think she ran away from home, never to return. I am so in – just need the “what” now.

    • FABULOUS! I like this Carryl who accepts the dare! 😉

      Can’t wait to hear what comes through for you … it’s so juicy to hear what is on everyone’s heart.

  • Megan Gahan

    Idelette, you always make me feel the most bizarre combination of complete terror and total elation! I mean that in the best possible way! At our event last night, I felt those feelings in full force. And I don’t even know what my ‘dangerous’ is yet! Thank you for continually championing our best selves. It’s an honor to stand with you on anything, but this right here? This is something special. This is a movement. . . .a beating of the drum . . .a roar . . . and it’s so insanely exciting. So I will take your triple dog dare . .and honor it as best as I can. Love you.

    • O, Megs … thank you, from the bottom of my heart. For hearing the call. And for *everything.* For dancing with. For beating the drum at times. For keeping us in rhythm at other times. I look forward to hearing what comes from your heart … I know how you don’t take these things lightly. xoxo

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  • Ashley

    Amazing. Challenging. Terrifying. I’m in.

  • 1. I am SO excited about this book. ‘Zabbout time!
    2. Percolating.
    3. Tuesday night was surreal.
    4. You look really good in one shoulder thingees.
    5. Percolating.
    6. Your children were sublime.
    7. I hate when husbands are right.
    8. Let’s climb that Mt. K. some day.
    9. Still Percolating.
    10. I’m vibrating with the potential of all of this.
    11. I love you.

    • Bring on the coffee! 😉

      I would love to climb that Kili with you some day. It’s there for us, calling. I feel it. One mountain at a time. 🙂

  • I like Tina’s word: “percolating.” That’s my response to this challenge. Where to begin?

    • Right! Permission to let it percolate … 🙂

  • Alyssa Santos

    stink. You called my bluff (or maybe your husband did?) I have started and not finished my book several times. The fear is so real that it tells me all kinds of things, none of them true, and I keep falling for the lies. And so, I am taking your challenge and letting it roll around and bump into all my excuses this morning. Praying.

    • Hehehe. You go, girl!

      And o, I wasn’t happy when he called me out … but I realized it was true. No more on to bigger things. This is the thing that needs to get done now.

  • This is SO me – always wanting to be onto the next big thing. Idleness doesn’t suit me. But sometimes the big, really scary things get pushed aside because it feels too risky to invest my heart. That story I keep holding back because I don’t want to get it rejected – yeah, I’m going to submit that. No more excuses!

    • Wonderful, Nicole! Cheering you on!

  • Donna-Jean Brown

    Scared speechless, Idelette.

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  • Lindsey Smallwood

    Whew! Yes and amen and how? I think it’s easy to push aside our big dreams because they seem as big as Kilamanjaro. But big dreams are possible one bit at a time.

    I have a book in my heart too – and I need to think about how/when/where there’s room for that. Thanks for this stirring call to action.

    PS: Sheloves is awesome! <3 <3 <3

  • Raine

    I think I’m going to take up that challenge to pray for hours. Thank you for this. It’s a beautiful piece.

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