Tend to the Beauty

A few years ago, I saw the artist Makoto Fujimura speak at a conference. My mother had died just eight months earlier and I could feel something slowly unraveling inside me. A second death, of sorts, taking place. I look back on it now and understand that my theology was rotting on the vine, exposing harmful […]

The First Devil

I finally made an appointment to go back to therapy. I’m not even sure what it was about this particular day that made me do it. It was not my lowest moment. It was definitely not my highest. It was just another day, and I was tired. I was just done with all of the […]

The Gate, Part II

Here is a thing that I’m learning: At some point in your life, you will walk through the gate that someone’s life made for you–a space in the exact shape of their unique, specific being, much the same shape as a question mark, so that you can finally enter the world. It will change everything […]

The Gate

“I had no idea, that the gate I would go through to finally enter this world would be the space my brother’s body made…” // For days now, that first line of Marie Howe’s poem “The Gate” has been echoing in my mind. Sometimes, my subconscious swaps out the word “brother” for “mother,” and I […]

Out Of the Garden

What they don’t tell you about faith is how often you will find yourself standing in your kitchen doing something supremely ordinary, while asking the most earth-shattering questions of your life. I thought that if I stopped going to church that I would spare myself the sting of the unanswerable, but instead, I’m standing at […]