I Hated My Church’s Small Groups. And Then I Returned.

My small group started two weeks ago. I was surprised—really surprised—to feel excited about that. When I joined the group at the beginning of last year, I didn’t expect to stay more than a few months. I had my arms crossed rather tightly across my chest during the first meeting. And the second meeting. And […]

The Girl Who Was Afraid of Matches

Here’s a true story: I was scared of lighting matches until I was twenty years old. Twenty years later, now many books of matches under my belt, I find this both ridiculous and completely understandable. Ridiculous because matches are necessary and not really that difficult. And understandable because in order to light a match you […]

Learning to Listen Well to the Low Notes of My Marriage

Not long after my husband Dyami and I got married, he bought a subwoofer. For those of you not conversant in audiophile jargon, a subwoofer is a speaker “dedicated to the reproduction of low-pitched audio frequencies known as bass.” The subwoofer was about the size of a large end table, heavy as all get out, […]

I Wish We Were More Honest About Abuse

[Trigger warning: Conversation about abuse. ] Can we talk about a big clobber word? Abuse. Also, its derivatives: abusive and abuser. They’re ugly words, kind of like the word racist or rape. Be an abusive parent, and you might get your kids taken away, or, at the very least, be shamed and ostracized. Abuse is horrible, […]

Beauty Has Saved Me Over and Over

To my great surprise, I discovered I was a high soprano in Grade 8. I’d thought before that I was a mezzo (or middle) soprano, but your voice changes a lot as you grow. What my choir director and I had assumed was a falsetto, turned out to be where my voice had the most power. […]