Learning to Listen Well to the Low Notes of My Marriage

Not long after my husband Dyami and I got married, he bought a subwoofer. For those of you not conversant in audiophile jargon, a subwoofer is a speaker “dedicated to the reproduction of low-pitched audio frequencies known as bass.” The subwoofer was about the size of a large end table, heavy as all get out, […]

I Wish We Were More Honest About Abuse

[Trigger warning: Conversation about abuse. ] Can we talk about a big clobber word? Abuse. Also, its derivatives: abusive and abuser. They’re ugly words, kind of like the word racist or rape. Be an abusive parent, and you might get your kids taken away, or, at the very least, be shamed and ostracized. Abuse is horrible, […]

Beauty Has Saved Me Over and Over

To my great surprise, I discovered I was a high soprano in Grade 8. I’d thought before that I was a mezzo (or middle) soprano, but your voice changes a lot as you grow. What my choir director and I had assumed was a falsetto, turned out to be where my voice had the most power. […]

The Uncomfortable, But Necessary Cost of Solidarity

I was 22 when I read Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street. The book, told from the perspective of a young Latina girl, chronicles the hardships of growing up in a marginalized, impoverished family. The book was simple like a Zen garden is simple: gorgeous, spare, shimmering. In other words, not simple at all. […]

It’s Scary to Wear Jewelry

A necklace really shouldn’t cause anyone this much anxiety. I bought it from a friend selling those fabulous accessories made by women moving out of poverty. Cute jewelry + women’s empowerment. Win-win. I haven’t gotten myself a new necklace in years, I thought. It’s for a good cause. I scrolled through the catalog and found a […]