The Hidden Blessing of Feeling Horrible

You would think that when you feel horrified, ashamed, and terrified, you would know you are feeling horrified, ashamed, and terrified. But in my experience, that’s not a given. Take one twilight, about two years ago. Someone that knows my family well invited me to a Facebook group along with some other people I trust. […]

Jazz Hands and All the Ways I Feel Powerful

Last summer, I went to a reunion of sorts. We gathered in the glistening kitchen of someone I’ve known since high school, drinking margaritas. I met all of the people there decades ago at my church, though we don’t all see each other as often any more. Still, we know each other’s histories. I asked […]

Learning to be a Runner

Last night, I told my husband I was going for a walk. I put on my athleisure shoes and set out into the darkness of our street. When I got to the corner, I paused for a moment and then—feeling a little ridiculous—I started to jog. I’m not a runner. I ran in high school […]

I Hated My Church’s Small Groups. And Then I Returned.

My small group started two weeks ago. I was surprised—really surprised—to feel excited about that. When I joined the group at the beginning of last year, I didn’t expect to stay more than a few months. I had my arms crossed rather tightly across my chest during the first meeting. And the second meeting. And […]

The Girl Who Was Afraid of Matches

Here’s a true story: I was scared of lighting matches until I was twenty years old. Twenty years later, now many books of matches under my belt, I find this both ridiculous and completely understandable. Ridiculous because matches are necessary and not really that difficult. And understandable because in order to light a match you […]