Return to Your Rest, O My Soul

It wasn’t like I stopped loving God. It was more like I stopped liking God. God had disappointed me, and I didn’t know how to make it all straight in my head. I continued to pray and seek God’s will. To obey. And it was honest. There was nothing false about it. A lot had […]

Catch the Moments Between the Bookends

On August 18, I celebrated my fortieth birthday—the bookend of a long and winding decade. Months before my birthday, I’d planned on celebrating with a huge outdoor party in which I could chat and hang out with all my friends and family. As the days crept by, the ache for a big party ebbed and […]

I’ve Heard It Said (More Times than I Can Count)

I’ve Heard It Said (more times than I can count). In church, people told me women are more easily deceived than men because, Eve. They also said a woman shouldn’t be an elder in the church because we are too emotional. Also, the argument that a woman should not be the senior pastor of a […]

Holding the Space

As with all painful seasons that take us by surprise, there were some overwhelmingly beautiful aspects of my time in Chile; but the first year, in particular, was the darkest of my life. It was a year that stripped me of my assumptions about God and my faith in humankind. It nearly swallowed me whole. […]

A Long Exhale

I came out of the womb with an insatiable need to be heard. I was a skinny little blonde girl with chicken legs and a voice as loud as a mega-phone. I never tired of talk. Someone once described my incessant need for conversation as the water that broke the dam. Deep inside, in secret […]