I Carry All Their Stories In Me

My hands are his hands. They are the same shape as his and move like so – just like his did I marvel at the memory of this giant of a man, of this larger-than-life presence, of this proud and passionate man with these hands, these soft and gentle and determined hands. I carry him […]

Marriage: Beyond the Toothpaste Cap

The pastor assigned to conduct our pre-marital counselling tilted back in his seat and smiled wryly at us. He must have known, looking at our young, eager faces. How very unprepared we were. How little we knew about making a life together. Perhaps he thought we wouldn’t heed his advice, in our freshly engaged, love-soaked […]

Look at the Cross Again

Let me be the first to admit today that I do not understand the cross. The simple explanations of my childhood—that the cross spans the chasm between me and God—no longer satisfy. There is so much mystery, so much that I cannot wrap my head around, that I am tempted to just quietly back away, […]

The Hidden Blessing of Feeling Horrible

You would think that when you feel horrified, ashamed, and terrified, you would know you are feeling horrified, ashamed, and terrified. But in my experience, that’s not a given. Take one twilight, about two years ago. Someone that knows my family well invited me to a Facebook group along with some other people I trust. […]

When I Claim All of My Space

I’m a big gal. I’ve always been. I’ve not always loved this body, so I settled for ignoring it. I stopped thinking about my body. I stopped looking at it, feeling it, moving it, seeing it. I stopped living in my body and just lived through it–mostly, because I had no choice. I couldn’t get […]