SheLoves Magazine

Wellness Wednesday: Discovering Joy in Every Season

“I had to let go of the expectations I had put on myself before the pressure could drop off my shoulders.”

By Amelia Englemark | Twitter: @AmyEnglemark

I saw a picture in the clouds. The image stood out from the darkness behind it—the slug with a cartoon bubble in front of its mouth was definitely trying to tell me something. Though I couldn’t see any words in the bubble I knew TRUTH was written there.

I feel like that slug sometimes. Slow and steady wins the race. But I’m not a “slow and steady” type of person. The problem is I’m running ahead in some areas of my life, while in others I’ve been somewhat halted—hence the slug picture.

Clarity in the Night

The night I saw that picture, I needed clarity and direction for my business.

My husband has been upgrading his training for work and because of this, we’ve been busy on the home front. This means more has been required of me in my roles as wife and mom and I’ve had less time for my business role.

I expected I would have the time to achieve my business goals even while my husband was involved in intense and demanding training. I figured I could fit it all in. Not a chance. Turned out my perspective on my lack of achievement started affecting my thoughts, feelings and even the words I spoke.

I had to let go of the expectations I had put on myself, before the pressure could drop off my shoulders. Once I did that, I started enjoying the role of lover, nurturer and cook even more than before. I’ve always loved—okay, not always— being a wife and mom, but lately, delving into this role has brought an increased amount of joy to my life. I was reminded that there’s a season for everything.

Re-framing my perspective

What’s two weeks of setting aside my business to-do list when I know I will have time to pursue it later? This has changed my perspective on life. I feel more at peace and empowered, because I know my purpose in this season. I am also reminded that amazing things happen when we least expect them. I don’t know how my life will unfold, but there is power when I take action in the areas where I do have control

No matter how fast or slow I feel like I’m travelling, I am certain I am in good hands—hands that can easily sculpt “cloud wings” on the back of that slug to make sure I’m at the right place with the right people and at the right time.

I have an important role to play where I am, for the people in my life right now. Focusing on what I can accomplish fills me with purpose.

Seize the opportunity

Whether it’s the time to focus on my career, my partner, myself or my kids, I realize I must enter each season with joy. The time will come to pursue other opportunities and I know I will feel more fulfilled if I focus on the gifts in this season, rather than the ones I hope to have in the future.                                         

I have learned to embrace where I am in life and the opportunities right in front of me. I trust this is the best season for me to be experiencing right now. My life has a bigger purpose than I can see and by allowing myself to let go of expectations and demands, I have acquired a new perspective on life.

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My dear SheLoves friends, I’d love to hear your thoughts:

• What season in life are you finding yourself in? How are you embracing it?

• Have you overcome similar frustrations of having to set aside dreams and to-lists for a while?

• How did your perspective change?

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About Amy:

I am a Certified Professional Career and Life Coach through the International Coach Academy. I empower executives and entrepreneurs to find and pursue their career passion. I am thankful for passion in my career and relationships and want others to enjoy the same. If you’d like to find out how to move forward towards the career and life you’ve only dreamed of, you can get to know me at www.amyenglemark.com. I love hiking, mountain biking, travelling and any sort of adventure. I like to jump from the highest rock into the deepest water. I like to shout for joy.  I tweet @AmyEnglemark.

Wellness Wednesday: Sharing Our Unique Voices with the World

By Vera Raposo | Twitter: @veraraposo

“Let’s write what we truly think … Our voices and vision will be much stronger without that fear filter.”

For many years I’ve been sharing my voice with the world via blogging and various entrepreneurial ventures. It hasn’t always been easy—fear and limiting beliefs have sometimes held me back—but on my journey I have learned that I have a unique perspective and should never be afraid to share it.

This Wellness Wednesday, I’d like to share some tips about how to hone your voice through blogging.

Write what you think, not what you say

If you write your true thoughts rather than your filtered thoughts, your voice and vision will be much stronger.

People often advise that you should write what you say. This is good advice only if you don’t hold back when you speak. Most of us, however, have a very different conversational tone in our heads. We filter our thoughts and only speak the opinions we feel are safe, especially if we think there may be potential for recrimination or judgment from others.

What you say may in fact be vastly different to what you think. In my head I have strong opinions and beliefs; it hasn’t always been that way on paper.

There’s a saying, “I’m a legend in my own mind.” Your thoughts have the power to influence. Use that power in your words, not just in your mind. When you’re writing your content, overcome the filter—it’s fueled by fear.

Find Your Content DNA

In his book “Crush It,” Gary Vaynerchuk talks about finding your content DNA. What he means is this: we’re not all writers—some of us are better at speaking, or talking to a camera.

If you prefer making videos to writing articles or blog posts, then focus the majority of your content efforts there.

If you’re more comfortable speaking then consider using dictation software to create your written content. Tools like Dragon Naturally Speaking make the transition from dictation to blog post quick and easy.

Realize That You Can’t Please Everyone

As you take your steps into the blogging world and begin to post and share, pay attention to your interactions. Do you find yourself holding back? If so, try to discover why.

Perhaps you expressed an opinion in a comment you made on someone’s blog and received a negative response. That can be traumatic for some people, but don’t let it put you off—not everyone is going to agree with you and that’s okay. Chances are you don’t agree with everyone you meet either.

As you’re blogging and sharing your vision with readers, pay attention to your comfort level and push yourself to be 100% authentic.

“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.” (Proverbs 29:25 LB)

Find a mentor

They don’t have to be an official mentor. Instead, look to other bloggers in your field who are authentic to their vision and voice. Learn from those who share similar ideas and values to you—watch how they speak and respond to criticism with the same mindset.

Connect with your audience

After taking that vulnerable step to sharing your authentic voice, it’s important to know you’re being heard. It takes time to build a connection with your readers but the more you reach out and listen to them, the more they will respond to you.

Find your online community—a small network of like-minded people—and get to know them. Once you have a relationship, they will value your work and share your posts with others.

Once you begin sharing your true voice, you won’t ever go back into hiding. Speaking your truth is empowering and it’s a wonderful way to build a loyal and supportive blog community.

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Dear SheLoves readers, I’d love to hear your thoughts:

• Have you struggled to find your authentic voice online? Why

• If you have developed your authentic voice, how has your audience reacted?

• What is your biggest obstacle to communicating online?

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Vera Raposo is involved with the marketing & technical side of SheLoves Magazine. She has been an entrepreneur since 1996 which included owning five retail stores.

Recently God told her to “clear her plate and open her heart.” So she sold her business and is now listening for God’s heart in her life.

Vera was born and raised in beautiful British Columbia. She’s a Mom to three wonderful kids. She often blogs and helps others spread their message online at ClickCreateShare.com. She also tweets from @veraraposo & @clickcreatshare.

Wellness Wednesday: Making Big Things Happen

By Amelia Englemark | Twitter: @AmyEnglemark

“In the blink of an eye, my day, week or month is over and I’m sometimes left wondering, What was I working towards? Did I make any progress?”

Before I had kids, I was more spontaneous and spent much less time planning out what would happen in my future. I had goals and ideas of what I wanted to include in my life, but all in all, it was pretty laid back. Planning ahead felt regimented and less fun.

Now that I’m a mother, I actually see and experience the advantages of planning ahead. When I’m planning my day or week, I make certain things a priority. Instead of simply wanting to see people, go places, get work done, I now take a more proactive stance and make sure those things happen. Why?  Time can easily pass me by. In the blink of an eye my day, week or month is over and I’m sometimes left wondering, “What was I working towards?” “Did I make any progress?”

Setting priorities

Over time I am developing a system that allows me to identify and focus on my priorities:

Relationships – taking time to nurture family relationships and friendships.

Proactive work – focusing on staying in touch with the important contacts I have made, instead of dealing with daily emails or continually checking Facebook.

High impact goals – creating goals that will pay a big profit later, such as laying off large amounts of sugar in my diet, which will ultimately lead to long-term health and increased confidence.

Learning - reading the latest journal in my field for half an hour before bed instead of watching the most recent episode of a TV series I’m following.

Renewal – spending more time taking my kids out to ride the BMX track or going for a fun date with my husband.

In order to create a great future for myself, I need to take charge of my life. That means knowing myself and becoming fully involved in activities (or rest) that will enable me to blossom. When I make time to do the important things, I feel refreshed and much more able to tackle the items on my list that require more energy. When a crisis or unexpected event comes up, I am more prepared to handle it if I’ve made time for what matters.

When you take the time to think about it, you’ll know exactly what you need to dedicate more time to.

Working in tandem

In saying all of this, I know deep down that it’s not by my strength or my power that things are accomplished. Yes, I put forth the effort; I take the time to focus on my objective and push forward, but I am working in partnership with a special Someone, if you know what I mean—nudge-nudge, wink-wink. A Greater Force makes “light bulbs” turn on at just the right time.

Just when I wonder, “How will I ever be able to complete this task?”  I am given the energy I need.  Sometimes I really want to reach a certain goal but I don’t know what the next step is—then the light bulb goes on as an idea is dropped into my hands.

Stepping away from comfort

My path to being more organized and having more life balance has been interesting. This is not to say I have arrived at any particular destination. It’s more so felt like the path less travelled, because it hasn’t come naturally. With a little effort and forethought, I can now determine what my priorities are and make sure that what I’m focusing on is what is valuable to me. In order to accomplish goals that will fast forward my progress, I have had to assert myself more than I used to.

“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.” – Jim Rohn

Five-minute challenge

I challenge you to take five minutes to sit down with a journal or daily planner and answer the following questions—hopefully they will bring you clarity and motivation. Put your answers somewhere where you will see them and be reminded of what you are capable of.

1. What is YOUR proactive work? If you don’t know, how will you find out? How will you get to know yourself and perhaps try walking down a new avenue?

2. How would it make you feel to do the creative, proactive work in your life that will change the world? This is possible you know!

3. How would you feel if you started to put first things first? Would you feel more in control? At peace? Energized?

4. What would happen if you focused on getting the right things done, instead of just getting things done? What type of extraordinary life could you create?

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About Amy:

I am thankful for passion in my career and relationships and want others to enjoy the same. I am a Certified Professional Career and Life Coach and I empower executives and entrepreneurs to find and pursue their career passion. You can get to know me at www.amyenglemark.com.

I love hiking, mountain biking, travelling and any sort of adventure. I like to jump from the highest rock into the deepest water. I like to shout for joy.

I Need You Alive

“I feel somewhat crazy in saying this, but I believe I was given even more tenacity than a salmon …”

By Amelia Englemark
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I almost hit a woman today.  She ended up hitting me.  I was driving home from town, when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone in the middle of four lanes of traffic.  The person was beginning to run towards my lane.  I slammed on my brakes.  Thank goodness I didn’t get rear-ended!  The person,  a woman, ran HARD into the side of my van, consequently landing hard on the street.  Her force broke my sideview mirror.

I felt horrible; quite shattered. Was she ok?  Had I hurt her?  What was she thinking?  A lot of thoughts swirled around in my head.  She stood up and told me she’d only hit her shoulder and I didn’t need to stop.

I pulled out of traffic and parked so I could make sure she was alright. As soon as I got out of my van, I began crying. Big, fat tears turned into a torrential downpour that I couldn’t stop.  I held on to her shoulders and told her, “I need you alive.”

Crazy how a day can unfold and how five minutes can change a lot. Life is so fragile. I went for a brisk walk to mull over what had just happened. I prayed for the woman who had hit my van. I was thankful for my own life.

I’d like to think I have another 50-80 years to live, but do I, really?

I recently watched a movie with a wedding scene in it where the best man was giving a speech about the groom. With admiration he said, “You weren’t afraid to cross the river.” That has stuck with me.

I don’t want to be afraid to cross the river. I don’t want to be afraid to swim upstream if that’s what’s needed. I know that sometimes, pursuing what I am crazy about (in my business, marriage, relationship with God, etc) requires effort. I feel somewhat crazy in saying this, but I believe I was given even more tenacity than a salmon, glistening as it jumps up and over obstacles … while swimming against the current.

What fun would I have in stagnant water anyway?  Think of all the sights I would miss seeing if I didn’t follow my heart.  Yes, I risk being eaten by a harbour seal or getting hooked by a fishing line.  On the other hand, while I swim upriver my muscles grow strong, I feast on juicier bugs, I see juicier sights and meet animals I never would have known existed if I hadn’t taken the risk or made the effort.

I’m in a transition right now in my career that requires risk. I’m finding that risk exciting and daunting at the same time. Still, I’m committed to moving forward into uncharted waters!  I’ll keep you posted on who I meet and what I see during my adventure

Drop me a note and let me know where you’re at in your own adventure … I’d love to hear:

Where are you standing?

1. On the edge of the river?
2. Ankle Deep?
3. Up to your neck?

- Where do you want to be standing?
- What will help you get there?
You may need help learning how to swim and that’s ok.

See you upstream,
Amy

About Amy:

I am currently studying at the International Coach Academy to become a professional certified coach. I could spend 90% of my life outside. I love hiking, mountain biking, travelling and any sort of adventure. I like to jump from the highest rock into the deepest water. I like to shout for joy.

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