My Hidden Figure

[Trigger warning: Mention of sexual abuse.] I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life that I have not been uncomfortable in my own body. It wasn’t until my thirties when I awoke one night in sheer terror, my gentle, kind husband startled beside me, crying out in anguish at the memories […]

I Can’t Rub My Brown Away

It’s hard to stay hidden when you’re the only brown girl in the room. I can’t slip into the background and hope no one notices me. I can’t rub my skin color away and blend into the sea of white. It’s hard to stay hidden when you have big, unruly hair that takes up space. […]

Do You Know How to Want?

A few years ago I was asked what I want. It was through an email on a list I had subscribed to. I stared at it for a long time. I shut it. I kept on with my day but it would not leave me alone. It was following me. What do I want? I […]

Cutting Bangs and Saying Yes

I let my friends cut my bangs last year. It wasn’t a cry for help or an emotional breakdown. Rather, I was complaining to my friends during a girls night out about how much I’ve always wanted bangs and how every stylist I’ve met shook their head and said, “Oh honey, that’s not for you.” […]

Sweaty, Exhausting Peace

I stare at the black metal bar above me. It looks a mile away. I need to jump to reach it. Just the thought of stretching my arms above my head makes my shoulders ache. They’re still sore from two days ago. I steal a glance at the clock, and watch the seconds tick methodically […]