An Ocean Loud Enough to Hold My Grief

I had saved my pennies for months. I said no to as many coffees as I could and finally boarded the plane to the Pacific Northwest. To Portland. To my baby sister. She was holding space for me to grieve. I needed space to heal. I needed to feel the oxygen from the trees release […]

My Prayers Today

I am not sure what I believe about prayer. I understand expressing gratitude and joy. I can appreciate setting an intention to align myself with God’s heart before making a decision. I understand asking for help in immediate circumstances, like sending patience to me around 5:30pm on weekdays as I try to make dinner, keep […]

A Living Thing

I’ve had a complicated relationship with prayer for a long time now. Most likely, it started around the time that I realized that ten years of praying for God to heal my mom’s cancer hadn’t come true. I know–that last sentence sounds more like a genie in a bottle, my prayers like desperate scratches at […]

I Am Undone

In my therapy session this week (yes, I talk to a therapist every week and have done so for 25 years), the word that emerged was: undone. Exactly right. The entire session had felt like a chaotic purge of some sort, one story after another came tumbling out, seemingly unconnected. And yet, as she so […]

The Sacred Rhythm of Public & Private Life

I’ve been discouraged the past few weeks. Seattle has to be one of the most dreary places to live in the middle of winter. We’ve been in the thick of incessant rain, gray clouds, and short days. The weather has been frustrating, but mainly, I’ve felt discouraged about my life as a writer. I love […]