SheLoves Magazine

I Bear Witness

“If all of us acted in unison as I act individually, there would be no wars and no poverty. I have made myself personally responsible for the fate of every human being who has come my way.” -Anais Nin 

By Desiree Adaway | Twitter: @desireeadaway

As a kid, I was told the real power of the crucifixion of Christ was not that it happened, but that there were people to bear witness to the act. People saw and were able to deliver first-hand their testimony.

I testify to change hearts and minds.

I travel the world, because I believe in the power of connection and community. I believe in the beauty of humanity and the gift of mercy. I travel to help strip bare the man-made constraints of culture and language and all the other social barriers we have created to keep us apart.

I travel so I can testify.

To deliver a testimony.

I am a connector. I help connect people, ideas, and organizations. I am a builder of community and the foundation of my building is based on the rock of social justice. As I share my thoughts on social justice and some of my personal beliefs on community, I hope, in turn, you will share your thoughts with me.

I believe God’s love for the world is an active and engaged love, a love seeking justice and liberty for all.  I believe we cannot just be observers to pain and suffering, because I believe in the inherent dignity and value of all humans. So I testify:

If my sister in Angola is not safe, then we are all responsible.

Every child that goes to bed hungry, whether across the world or up the street, is my child.

And my child deserves dignity and honor. My sister deserves to be seen, loved, acknowledged and cared for.

So I bear witness. I bear witness to confirm the right of persons and peoples to determine their own destiny and daily lives; to live in peace and security; and to flourish in freedom. We all have the right to live in a safe and secure place. Freedom is our divine right. We all should be free to move beyond past limitations and become all we were created to be.

I cannot be of service to people whom I am separate from physically or mentally. I can have no degrees of separation–we are one community. We must build and maintain our community together and make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems, and to solve them together.

We must work together to conceive and build the good community, society and world we want and deserve to live in. Robert Ingersoll says we should give to every human being every right that we claim for ourselves. I could not have said it better.

In a real community, no one is invisible or unworthy. Not my child nor my sister. So I bear witness to make sure they are seen and heard.

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How about you:

• Do you bear witness to another’s suffering? Do you testify of their struggle?
• Do you believe that giving voice to another’s struggle promotes global freedom and community?
• What are your thoughts on the pursuit of social justice?

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About Desiree:

Desiree is a consultant, strategist, coach, speaker, storyteller and explorer.  She uses her superpowers–her voice, sense of adventure and belief in the transformative power of community–to help organizations design programs that create unrestricted revenue, volunteers and advocates.

You can find out more about her at www.desireeadaway.com, or follow her on Twitter at @desireeadaway

Photo credit: Hands, by xlordashx

On Beauty, B cups and Believing Our Way Back to Innocence

Seeking Eve Monday

“I wish to battle against the perspective that some people are ordinary and others are great … I really believe people can live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways.”

By Christina Crook

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Every woman who has given birth knows this is no ordinary feat. Yet, we are quick to reduce the enormity of our task to a brief remembering, a quaint vignette.

The truth is, every day we do the extraordinary.

We scrub floors on chaffed knees. Treat man, woman, child with dignity, with care. We climb corporate ladders. Extend our hands to the weak. We speak up when it’s uncomfortable. Rise at 3am to feed our babes.

We lead protests.

Carry petitions to the seat of Parliament. We train young eyes to seek Heaven. Deliver lasagna to the family next door. We watch for signs of Spring erupting all around us.

It’s extraordinarily normal women, like Andrea Dunbar, who make the world go round.

I first met Andrea in her tidy little bungalow in New Westminster, BC. The same house where her daughter Eden, was delivered by her father, a nurse, on the bathroom floor. The same home where the kitchen was full with the scent of fresh baking and the living room brim with the found and the made.

When I first asked to share Andrea’s story she declined, feeling she lived too much of a conventional life. For years I’ve hoped for a change of heart. This month, upon my return to British Columbia’s snowy interior, I got my wish.

“I regret my response to you when you [first] asked me to do this … I wish to battle against the perspective that some people are ordinary and others are great. I really believe that people can live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways,” she says from the small town of Mackenzie, where Andrea and her small family are spending the year with her in-laws.

While her husband, Robbie, works at the hospital, she is trying out homeschooling and getting out into the great outdoors with her two kids as often as possible.

Andrea is a public health nurse. When we first met she worked on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside at a clinic that served many prostitutes and lower income women. Each workday she’d bike the 50-kilometer round-trip.

To those around her, Andrea is a source of inspiration, quietly challenging them with the daily choices she makes.

“She is very conscious of her stewardship of this earth,” says her friend, Renice. “In a way that is not at all brash, she makes every effort to care for the earth and the people in it.

She goes beyond recycling. She uses only cloth diapers, buys local and keeps her home organic inside and out. Aside from all that is “green” related, she supports local talent, whether it be art or music and quietly engages others to do the same. She loves to surround herself with all things beautiful even if it’s as simple as a single flower.

Andrea is a modern-day Eve. Seeking to live as a daughter loved by God, desiring her Father’s purposes, longing to look more like Jesus.

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In her own words …

Faith to me means … growing.

What I mean by that is … the people of faith that I most admire continue growing throughout their lives. When I was at Trinity Western University, 10 years ago, and thought I knew everything, the buzz word that I and my friends never wanted to describe us was “complacent.” When I was in university, I also greeted strangers with, “Did you know that Jesus loves you?” While my approach to people has changed–or “grown”–over the years, I still feel just as strongly about not becoming complacent. Knowing that I will continue to grow and learn, helps me look forward to getting older, despite the pervasive North American disdain for aging.

One of my favourite songs describes the Source of growth, life, beauty:

All this pain

I wonder if I’ll ever find my way

I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found

Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Life is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

-”Beautiful Things” by Michael and Lisa Gungor

When I was little I … didn’t want my dad to touch me. I have a photo of my bewildered dad trying to pick me up. I am about 12 years old, my face is red, I am crying and my arms are folded self-consciously over my chest. My dad was a man of integrity and was simply trying to connect with his daughter in a playful way. However, my trust and innocence were destroyed by another man in my life, a close relative. He was a very religious man who preached that Christmas trees were idols and girls needed to wear dresses to church. At the same time, he touched and kissed me in sexual ways. When I realized that he was the reason that touch from my dad felt threatening to me, I had to mourn all those lost years when I could have felt safe in my dad’s hug or touch. I now feel grateful for God’s work of restoration and rescuing in my life despite the darkness that tried to bury me in fear and confusion. I still have so much to learn about accepting love from my Father.

My days are filled with … the voices of two special little people. I have a video clip on my iPhone that was taken by my daughter a few days ago. The video shows a side view of me with my head tilted down at a book and my long brown hair shielding my face. The sound track is her sweet little voice,

“Hi Mama! Mama, look! It’s me, Eden. Mama … Mama, look!”

At this point I move for the first time to look up with a dazed smile on my face, “Hi, how are you?”

When she showed me this video, we laughed together. I couldn’t believe how profound it was to see me through her eyes.

I wish … I could say that was my first delayed response to my kids. But it wasn’t. It happens far too often. Sometimes it happens when I am *gasp* texting or looking at Facebook. This little video has made me so much more aware of what that looks like to my kids.

On a larger scale, I also wish that the demand for child and women sex slaves and pornography would stop. I want this generation of boys and young men to be different than so many of their fathers. I want this generation of girls and young women to know how beautiful they are and to know that beauty is so much more than skin and shape. I raise and educate (home school) my son and daughter with these hopes. I am so grateful for the honourable example of my husband, Robbie, and my dad, Fritz. These men infuse hope into my life for a world that has more justice, peace and love for women.

Today I give myself permission …

- to have moments where I feel like a terrible mom and know that He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

- to be 5’3” with funky glasses, long straight hair, ‘athletic’ build, A sometimes B cup breasts, little white bumps that keep popping up on my face including one that is right at the corner of my eye, dark moles all over my body, and fair skin and to feel beautiful, confident and loved.

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Would you like to add your story to Seeking Eve Monday?

We’d love to hear your story. Please share it by emailing Christina at seekingeve[@]gmail.com

To find words for your story, try following these lines, as Andrea did:

Faith to me means [community / hope / food / sacrifice / art / etc] …

What I mean by that is …

When I was little I …

My days are filled with …

I wish …

The thing is …

Today I give myself permission …

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About Christina: 

Christina is a Toronto-based writer whose articles on culture, religion and technology have appeared in Vancouver, UPPERCASE and Geez magazine. She, her husband and two young children attend Grace Toronto Church. She is the founder of SeekingEve.ca and blogs at www.christinacrook.com.

RELATE with Helen: Let’s Talk About Sex!

“Can you honestly say that you believe that your gift of sexuality is a good gift from God?”

By Helen Burns | Twitter: @helenburns

It’s February … So Let’s talk about SEX!

I am not exactly sure why, how or when it happened, but one day I realized that I was standing on an awful lot of platforms, talking on a lot of radio and television shows, and throughout many nations about the often taboo subject of sex.  Perhaps it is because I was blessed to grow up in a home where my parents were open and honest with me regarding sex and very openly loving and affectionate toward each other. So, today I find myself really comfortable around this topic though I think my daughters and my older grandchildren still squirm more than a little when John and I are teaching about sex.

February is a month that is synonymous with romance, love and passion, so I thought I would bring this spicy little topic up once again.

Sex is God’s brilliant idea.

He created it as a gift and blessing for husbands and wives to enjoy in the safety and sanctity of their marriages. But sadly, we live in a world of immense sexual brokenness and shame and on every continent I have ministered in I’ve encountered the painful reality that something so perfect and beautiful has gone horribly wrong. Genesis 2:25 describes a picture of perfection: “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” (NLT). How stunning is that!!!

One of the questions I often ask women–young and old, married and unmarried, as I am teaching them is,  ”Can you honestly say that you believe that your gift of sexuality is a good gift from God?” The reactions are quite varied, but I think most women sadly feel like it’s a burden, not a gift to be treasured. This creates huge relationship challenges not only within marriage, but also in how we relate to the other sex and lead the generations in their view of sex, marriage and men.

This year my “one word” is RECLAIM. So I am standing with a fiery passion to reclaim what belongs to God and there are few things I feel more passionate about than reclaiming healthy sexuality. I believe that in many ways it has become the battleground of our society. In a world riddled with sexual exploitation in so many arenas–from pornography and infidelity to sex trafficking–I am convinced one of the ways to win the war is to let TRUTH speak into this matter and bring beautiful, healthy sexuality back into marriage, where it belongs.

Sex In Marriage

Sex as it was intended is holy and can create health and wholeness in a marriage. While sex is not the foundation for a healthy marriage, it is a beautiful expression in which couples can feel supported and comforted by each other.

There are certain questions I am often asked often regarding married sex … Questions like:

“What is normal?”

- “How often should a married couple be having sex?”

- “What is permissible in the marriage bed?”

I like to tell them there is no such thing as “normal.” Normal is nothing more than a setting on your clothes dryer and there is not a “one-size-fits-all” in this department. But here are a few thoughts I hope can help you:

• A healthy sexual relationship starts with a healthy YOU. I know I say that a lot, but if your heart/soul isn’t healthy, nothing works in the world of relationships. Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.”
• A healthy sexual relationship is one that is gratifying and fulfilling for both husband and wife. It’s all about meeting each other’s needs. Couples should be discussing their needs openly in order to negotiate a relationship that meets BOTH of their needs. Ladies, God meant for you to really enjoy sex too!
• A great sexual relationship will come from an overall great relationship with your spouse. It can only truly be enjoyed when there is mental, emotional and physical trust. Sexual frustration can be an indicator of a relationship that is lacking trust.
• Great sex will require giving. Love gives, lust demands.
• Great sex will require understanding: being aware and sensitive to each other’s needs. Do you really know what your spouse wants?
• You were created to enjoy sex, not endure sex.

Sex and the Single Woman

We, as women are not made with an ON/OFF switch when it comes to our sexuality. It’s not like when we say “I do” that suddenly our sexual thoughts, feelings and appetites unexpectedly surface. No, by then, we’ve been dealing with them for a while and navigating this sexual part of our lives is important whether we are married or single. Once again, having a healthy heart and attitude is critical for every woman. The best time to take care of your heart in this regard is before you ever enter into a relationship with a guy.

Our attitude toward sexual passion says something important about the state of our hearts. Sex is a porthole into our hearts, and our heart is a difficult place for us to hide from our hurts, disappointments, wrong attitudes, emotions and feelings toward sex. So many women have been stolen from–some have been sexually violated; others have been lied to and told that sex is dirty and horrible by their own mothers; others gave up sex when they longed for physical intimacy, because of a massive Daddy- hole in their hearts.

Whatever the reason may be, I feel it is imperative that we pay attention to our hearts, get truth into our hearts, and then learn to discover and walk in the freedom of an open and ready heart.

Every woman at the core of her heart longs to be loved, known, cherished and pursued. That is the picture of true romance, which is the cry of every feminine heart. Whether your heart is free, or battered and broken, there is hope, healing, strength and beauty for your gorgeous, perfect, God-shaped heart.

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My dear SheLoves friends,

• Can you honestly say that you believe that your gift of sexuality is a good gift from God? (Try to at least be honest with yourself here – no need to answer out loud, though perhaps your thoughts could help others?
• How can we become a part of the answer to the sexual brokenness in our world?
• Any other thoughts or feelings on this topic?

Helen Burns and her husband, John, speak around the world on the topic of relationships. They host the popular TV show “Relate with John and Helen.”

Photo credit:  Fathia Qadreza via Pininterest

On the Other Side of Abortion: When Grace Tells Another Story

“I saw words that spoke of my potential, not my mistakes.”

By Daniela Schwartz | Twitter: @dannyschwartz

 ”He forgives your sins—every one.

He heals your diseases—every one.

He redeems you from hell—saves your life!

He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.

He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.

He renews your youth—you’re always young in his presence.” - Psalm 103:3-5 (The Message)

I wish I could come up with a story sad enough to justify my actions. A story that would tug at your heart and somehow make what I did, seem okay. Something that would justify my actions.

That’s not going to happen.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

We can’t rewrite our past; we only have today.

My hope is that in telling this story, it could change someone else’s story. That a woman held in bondage from her past would be set free. Or maybe change the way someone thinks about another person who has made the choices I have made.

I am talking about abortion.

When I was 15 and found myself pregnant, I was scared out of my mind. I was one step away from homeless and I wondered if there was a way I could keep the baby. In my ignorance I thought that because I drank alcohol one night, I had ruined the baby anyhow. So even if I had him, he would be damaged and how would I take care of him? At that time, I couldn’t even put a roof over my own head. I got the money for the abortion and ended the pregnancy at 15 weeks.

I wish my story ended there.

When I was 17, I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend. At this point in my life, my heart was hard. I knew what the consequences could be, and didn’t care. The people in my world had let me down and I refused to love or be loved. I got pregnant, again. This time I did not hesitate to choose abortion. I did not want to end up a single mother. I definitely did not want to be tied to my current boyfriend for the rest of my life. So I ended the pregnancy at 19 weeks. Refusing to acknowledge the life that was in me.

When I was 20 years old, I found Jesus. I was told I was a new creation, cleaned from all sin, but there were choices I had made in my life that fired a war on my soul. I felt like certain things I had done in my life were too big for God. I was covered in guilt and shame. After two years I backslid from God and walked away for seven years.

Looking back, I still see God was working in my life. The very fact that I can write this today is proof of that.

I married when I was 27 to a wonderful man, and we were expecting our first child by our first anniversary.

Any mom, when you hold your baby for the first time, knows the wonder of the miracle that has taken place. The child that grew in your body. A life full of future.

When Owen was four, I wanted him in Christian school. Why this was so important, I can’t tell you; particularly when I was only attending church at Christmas and Easter. I requested a reference letter from my church and it was completed by an Associate Pastor who has known me since the beginning of my journey. She filled out my application and when she got to the part about my involvement at church, she talked about what she saw in me and what she believed for me. In that moment, I had hope. I really wanted God and needed him in my life.

I saw words that spoke of my potential, not my mistakes.

I got involved in serving and planted myself in the house and about eight months later, I recommitted my heart to Jesus. I learned that I could go through the motions, but until I opened my heart, it was impossible to grow. In my willingness to serve and be obedient to God, however, walking through the doors that were opening, I believe it allowed God to begin a work in me. The actions of trusting God with my life allowed my heart to soften enough to put my hope in Him.

So now Israel, what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I’m commanding you today—live a good life. - Deuteronomy 10:12-13 (The Message)

Ryan and I had been trying to have another child since our eldest turned two. After several failed fertility attempts, we were diagnosed with “unexplained infertility.” I began to think of my abortions. The lives I had ended and the one I was trying to begin.

Condemnation and guilt entered into my heart and I was tormented by what I had done.

I began to feel like a con-artist. The life I was living, stolen. “I should be a single struggling mother,” I thought to myself. “I should have never met Ryan, and had my beautiful Owen. I should not have this beautiful life. It was my horrible choices that brought me here and I am a living fraud.”

I believed those words and they robbed my joy.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, (s)he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (New King James Version) (gender included)

By the grace of God, I got pregnant at 35, seven years after my first born. I had my first ultrasound at seven weeks and saw that miraculous little heartbeat. At 20 weeks, I saw the miracle of our little baby in a 3D ultrasound.

I felt that tug at my heart, for my unborn children.

Grace.

We had a guest speaker come to our church, and it’s not that I hadn’t heard amazing sermons on grace, but I felt like this message was about me and my abortions and my life that God gave me. God spoke to my heart and truth resonated in me.

The hardest part of Grace, for me, was understanding it. When we truly understand the Grace we live under when Jesus enters our lives, we are not pushed to our knees by guilt and condemnation, but instead we gratefully fall to our knees in worship to the One who paid for it all. Jesus.

I don’t deserve this life I have. None of us deserve our lives. It’s by Gods grace we have a second chance (sometimes a third and a fourth). God saw across the oceans of time and saw me at 15, 17, 27 and 35 and loved me the same. The blood of Jesus covers my sins.

It is not that my heart doesn’t ache when I think of those babies; I sit here in tears thinking of them. It will always hurt, but I don’t live under condemnation. I have a new life by the grace of God. I know some of you may not understand and maybe have the urge to hurl a few stones my way, but I would bear the scorn of a thousand to help one person learn what it took me 15 years to learn.

Here’s more of what I learned: If you are recovering from an abortion, God knows your story and is still smiling on you; your child is in heaven with Him. God still loves you and always will. Your child still loves you. Jesus’ blood covered all of your sins. He covered every, single, sin.

And then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness. -2 Corinthians 7: 10

If you can stand nowhere else today, let’s stand here: God’s grace is enough. Maybe it is not an abortion that keeps you tied up. Maybe it is something else you have made bigger than Jesus. Let’s know this together: nothing is BIGGER than God. In our weakness, God makes us strong. I love that.

God looks at us and loves us, just as we are.

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About Daniela:
Daniela is loving her role as stay-at-home mom. She loves Jesus, her husband and kids and jumps feet first into opportunities to serve in her community. Daniela lives by this statement, “Preach the gospel always, use words when necessary.” She loves to live life big and laughs a lot. She blogs with her twin sister Trinity at Lime in the coconuts.

Trinity’s Glee-Inducing Friday: My Valentine Inspiration

Hearts and Inspiration from a Girl who Loves the Holidays

By Trinity Robertson

Courage.

That’s my word for the year.

Courage: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

This is my first SheLoves post and I am terrified … totally and completely. I’m not a writer … at least I don’t think I am. I don’t bare my soul … ever. I have written, written and deleted this article at least twenty times. As soon as I get to the writing about me part, I panic. What do I say? It’s not like I don’t have important things to say … I just find when it comes to matters of the heart, well, I’m socially and emotionally challenged. I fear it. Which is a big reason I picked the word courage.

I have entered in a new season of my life. Things are changing and I am going to have to overcome some of the fears in my life.

So, here are three things in my life I need courage for:

1. Living the life God wants for me.

2. Learning to trust

3. Sharing my heart

Here’s what most of my friends know about me: I am an avid DIYer. I love making things and taking on new projects. Sometimes it works out … sometimes it doesn’t. But for me, every holiday brings excitement.

I love making holidays special for my kids. When I take the time to create special moments with them it’s like planting little happy seeds in their hearts.

One successfully planted, happy seed:

This is what I hope to do this Valentine’s Day, if I don’t run out of time or get too distracted with other things:

• Heart-shaped pancakes in the morning for breakfast,
• and my 12-year-old Gabe will get a heart shaped bento lunch. (I can go on and on about bento lunches but I will save that for another day.)

Here are some of the things I’ve found to inspire my DIY genes:

• Ideas for Homemade Valentines:

• Treats for their Class

• Decorations for Around the House

Now, the Flowers

Every year I get a dozen roses. Two things: I really hate it when they die right away and two, I can never get them to look quite right. So, I did a little research and found out a dozen rose are actually very hard to arrange. This is what I learned:

• Don’t put your roses in a vase that is too big
• and don’t leave the stems too long.

If we know roses are coming at least once a year, we might as well be ready for them. Invest in a vase that will show them off beautifully. Just make sure it has a narrow neck, perfect for dealing with a dozen.

It never ceases to amaze me how anything I wonder about I can find all that answers I need on either a website on amazing blogs like The Art of Doing Stuff. (Thank you, Karen, for all the great info!) Definitely check out her site for great arrangement ideas.

For some more great info on caring, cutting and arranging roses, go to Martha’s site here.

If you would like tutorials or more information on any of the things I’ve shown here today, you can find all the links on my Pinterest Valentine page.

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Trin’s DIY

I’ve always got a DIY project on the go. Right now, it’s photo pillows.

I was on the House and Home website, checking out trends for 2012, when I saw this.

It’s from a very cool store called Archival Decor. This 18×18 pillow will run you $245. Ouch

So, I made my own version. They are not as big, but I like them.

Cost of these ones? Around $10. For the full DIY, please go to my blog.

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So, my SheLoves friends:

1. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day this year?

2. Is there any current DIY projects you would like to share?

3. Where in your life do you need some courage?

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About Trinity:

I have entered into a new season of my life. Each day brings something new and I am looking forward to seeing what lies ahead. I am loving being home with my kids, being a wife, spending time with family and friends.I love my home. It is our sanctuary, a place for God, rest, memories, love, laughter and happiness. We come together to grow, support, cry, get angry, celebrate, act crazy, be goofy, and strengthen…knowing this is the place we won’t be judged or criticized but instead where we will support and encourage and guide. Mistakes are forgiven and second chances never run out. To gather with my friends and family for a times of joy and love is the place I most love to be.

I blog with my sister at Lime in the coconuts.

Threads of a Sister’s Story: Building Bridges of Hope

“I am inspired by women like Nikole, who recognize they are called to walk alongside others in the mutual goal of seeking justice in the world, not as a do-gooder, or a savior, but as a sister in Christ.”

By Enuma Okoro | Twitter: @TweetEnuma
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I was raised in four countries on three continents.

I am a cradle Catholic whose first memory of God is laced with multi-ethnic faces and visions of a holy Mary. I come from a family where women’s voices are loudly heard at home and in vocations around the globe. No matter how often the world and even the church may try to convince me otherwise, I cannot separate my understanding of God from my recognition of the strength and beauty of women.

It’s amazing really, the way one woman randomly encountering another woman can tell a small snippet of her story and lay a thread down, soft and silent, one more weave of rope for that hanging bridge of hope we all dangle on.

I met Nikole Lim at a speakers gathering last year. We were signed up to share a room at the conference center. Nikole is a young striking Chinese-American woman with a playful and edgy sense of style. I was not surprised to discover Nikole was a photographer and a humanitarian documentary filmmaker. As the days went on, I wasn’t even surprised to discover that she had started Freely in Hope, her own 501(c) faith-based nonprofit committed to addressing issues of poverty, sexual abuse and educational injustice for women in Kenya.

But I was surprised to find out she was only 23 years old.

And I was surprised to find out how open Nikole was to shifting her life steps in order to dance to the rhythm of God’s heartbeat, the rhythm she heard while listening to some snippet of another woman’s story.

Through a mutual friend, Nikole was introduced to Eunice, and learned about this particular Kenyan woman’s strength and resolution to overcome the violence of rape and poverty.  Humbled by Eunice’s story Nikole felt her own life forever altered and said yes to a daunting but convicting call to build a bridge between her world in California and Eunice’s world in Nairobi.

“Through Eunice’s story, I was liberated from my own selfishness,” says Nikole. “As God was challenging my heart, I felt called to start an organization to provide spiritual, educational and economic empowerment for girls worldwide. I thought that maybe, God was calling me to be a part of something greater—a part of stories that could change not only my life, but the lives of so many other women who are vulnerable to sexual abuse.”

I am inspired by women like Eunice, who in the face of horror, deep pain and mounting obstacles can courageously and gracefully hold onto the seed of knowledge that she, too, is a child of God with power and purpose.

Eunice believed in herself and in God before meeting Nikole.

I am inspired by women like Nikole, who recognize they are called to walk alongside others in the mutual goal of seeking justice in the world, not as a do-gooder, or a savior, but as a sister in Christ.

“I’ve been a witness to countless images that portray the “third world” as a place of despair,” says Nikole. “For too long, images have been used to capitalize on individuals, families and cultures. Worth has been shattered and dignity broken. My goal as a humanitarian photographer and filmmaker is to not exploit, but to leverage stories that empower, restore and transform.”

I am inspired by women who take time to listen to the still small voice of God, to discern how God would use their own unique hands and heart to foster healing in a broken world.

There are so many contexts and cultures that teach women to be passive and quiet recipients of injustice and varied forms of violence. And there are so many untold stories of women like Nikole and Eunice who do not shy away from challenge and conviction, because they believe that central to their life’s meaning and faith is the call to issue in God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Wherever Jesus went about preaching the kingdom of God and calling onlookers to reconcile themselves to God’s love, he did so hand in hand with changing people’s circumstances to reflect the type of world God envisions for all. The kingdom of God is made manifest wherever creation moves one step closer to physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental healing.

“Our vision is for women worldwide to experience God’s transformative love by living freely in hope.” -Nikole Lim , Founder of  Freely in Hope.

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My dear SheLoves sisters, I’d love to hear:

• What soft threads of another’s sister’s story have been woven into your own story of hope and purpose?
• Is there a friend, a sister’s story, that comes to mind that has particularly shaped how you live your life now?
• Any other thoughts or comments?

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About Enuma

Enuma was born in the United States and raised in Nigeria, Ivory Coast and England. She holds a Master of Divinity degree from Duke University Divinity School where she served as Director for the Center for Theological Writing. She is an author, speaker, spiritual director and continues to lead workshops and retreats on varied topics engaging the literary and visual arts, and spiritual disciplines.

Her spiritual memoir, Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert’s Search for Spiritual Community  (Fresh Air Books, 2010) was a winning finalist in the 2010 USA Best Books Award and received the 2011 National Indie Excellent Book Awards Winning Finalist in “Spirituality and African-American Non-Fiction.” She is co-author with Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove of Common Prayer: Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals

Enuma’s new forthcoming book, “Silence,” will be released in Summer/Fall 2012

She also writes an online column at Patheos called “Cornering God” about women’s ways of knowing and engaging the holy. You can find her online at  www.enumaokoro.com

Photo credit: All images of Eunice, by Nikole Lim

ShePonders: Prophets

By Kelley Johnson-Nikondeha

“Prophet” is such a strong, heavy and unequivocal word in my vocabulary. But it did not begin that way.

My initial encounter with the word “prophet” was in my post-college days when I attended a Vineyard Church. People spoke of prophets as easily as they mentioned the pastor or the greeters or the janitor. Prophets were often contrasted with those gifted in mercy, implying and sometimes even saying outright that while mercy people were gentle, sensitive and touchy-feely, prophets were none of these things. A prophet saw things–about you and sometimes your future. They spoke words of personal comfort (at least the New Testament instructed them to do so); they spoke of predictions regarding the church, community and even country. They had a reputation for being brash and having sharp edges. More than once I heard it said that prophets saw in black and white.

During years steeped in this culture, I had my own personal encounters with prophets. I received many words of knowledge. These prophets claimed to know things about me or offered a God-given directive for me to follow and even spoke of grand future exploits. Some words were formative, others fell flat. Such was the way with modern prophets I surmised–even they were practicing their gift imperfectly, learning as they went.

When I entered seminary I had to engage prophets once again … but this time the robust personalities of the Old Testament. These crazed men (mostly) spoke in poetic cadence and dreamed dreams, saw visions, often acting in strange ways. They were of a different breed entirely from the prophets I knew. At first glance I wrote them off as being archaic, as outdated as the Old Testament itself. But they stayed with me and began to burrow into my psyche, those poetic verses and haunting metaphors provoking me to come closer and listen. (I must pay tribute to Biblical scholar Walter Brueggemann for offering me a proper introduction to these wild and wonderful prophets.)

And here is what I have learned about prophets–they don’t see in black and white, they see in technicolor.  Now I find it interesting that the “tech” in Technicolor was inspired by the founder’s technical training at MIT. The name of his revolutionary color process and company are an homage to inspired instruction and his own innovation in color saturation. The prophets of old are similar in this respect; they honor their inspired instruction (which comes from the Torah) and marry that with their unique innovative vision. The prophets understood deeply the words of Genesis, Exodus, Deuteronomy, Leviticus and Numbers–and that shaped what they saw and what they spoke.

Allow me to share some simple observations from years of studying these great prophets:

A prophet sees.

- A prophet can see Torah. She sees the words of God and has studied the ways of Jesus. Because these words and ways are written on her heart, she sees through them into her world.

- A prophet can see the world around her truly. She sees with clarity the good, the bad and the ugly. She sees that the dominant story of the world misleads people into elitism, racism, poverty, violence and consumerism.

- A prophet can see the margins. She sees who is there, how they got there and what keeps them on the sidelines of society.  She notices the human rights denied. She sees the invisible–who is missing from the classrooms, the hospital rooms, the voter rolls and the pews.

- A prophet can see injustice. She sees the injust structures that keep people out; the policies meant to exclude. She sees unfair trade agreements, environmental exploitation and corrupted banking systems. She sees crooked leaders and crooked laws.

- A prophet sees an alternative.  She sees another way to be in this world – a way rooted in Torah, love and justice.  She sees God’s abundance, not scarcity.  She sees humanity in her enemy and knows that forgiveness must be on offer.  She sees conflict and dreams of reconciliation, swords into plows (or tanks into tractors).

- A prophet sees newness. She sees that God is doing a new thing. God is on the move with fresh ideas and a fount of creative energy. She knows the world may be in a rut of poor choices–but God is not stuck! He is free and leading us into new freedom all the time, she has seen it!

- A prophet sees potential. She understands that the way the world is now is not set in stone. She sees potential for age-old wrongs to be set right in our day, for the brutally broken to know gentle mending, for systems of oppression to give way to unprecedented liberation, for truth to trump the lies we believe about ourselves and others.

- A prophet sees the connections. She sees the connection between her personal issues, the ones that hit closest to home, and the public practices. So her difficult pregnancy allows her to see the infant and maternal mortality rates in other countries. Her white skin and accompanying privilege help her see those in townships without access to something as simple as books. Losing her home makes her see the underside of the economic system that benefits some and exploits others. She sees the connections beyond herself, out into the larger world that God has called her to address.

- A prophet sees the colors. She sees the dark and dim for what it is. She also sees the bright and bursting hues–and all the shades in between. Seeing color means seeing life in its full spectrum.

A prophet speaks.

A prophet speaks the truth about the world as she finds it, looking through Torah-colored glasses. She speaks truth not just to power; she speaks truth to the status quo. She says that this is not the only way life can be! This is not the only way to manage your family! This is not the only way to run the world! Children don’t have to die of malaria–girls don’t have to miss out on education. Ecosystems don’t have to be trashed!

She looks at the world as it is and says it can be otherwise.

A prophet speaks about an alternative way. She tells us that there is another kingdom where justice reigns.  She says there is a better option than Caesar. She dares to say that violence is not the only way to bring peace. She tells another story and narrates a new world of possibility into existence guided by the Spirit.

A prophet speaks … wherever God leads her. She offers her voice to tell His story, she offers her voice to advocate for others (because she sees them) and proclaim good news. She speaks and allows her voice to become His–and that is what the prophets of old did when they spoke to their community. The prophets had eyes that saw, ears that heard and voices that spoke His truth into their world.

May it be so for us … women who can see, hear and speak into His world in full color and full voice!

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My dear SheLoves sisters,

• What has been your experience with the word “prophet?”
• What stirs in you and speaks to you now?
• Any other comments or thoughts? I’d love to hear.

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Audio:  ShePonders: Prophets

Click on the link above for an audio experience of Kelley’s post.

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About Kelley:

Kelley Johnson Nikondeha is co-director of Amahoro Africa and international staff member of Community of Faith with her husband Claude. She’s a thinker, connector, advocate, avid reader and mother of two beautiful children. Kelley lives between Arizona and Burundi. She loves handwritten letters, homemade pesto and anything written by Walter Brueggemann.

Vera’s One Word 2011: Open

“There was no way to continue and do God’s work without sharing and opening up my heart.”

By Vera Raposo | Twitter: @veraraposo

The last few years have been highly stressful and, without God, there’s no way I could have held it together. With my daughter who fought cancer twice and all that she endured, there’s no way I could have felt strong enough without God. The big word for me going through that time was Hope. There was and is always Hope in Christ.

Moving into last year, I knew God was teaching me to open up my heart. I had remained closed off to many people and knew that it wasn’t healthy for me at all. I feel like my heart has been opened up like a door slowly cracking open. There was no way to continue and do God’s work without sharing and opening up my heart. He needs us to see what He sees, serve others by being His hands and love those who need love. I will continue to develop my heart for next year, but feel a stirring in my spirit for a new word for 2012.

HANDS

I am excited to focus more on how to use my own hands for what God has specifically purposed me for in this life. The picture is so clear that hands can give someone hope by giving them a hug. My hands can fold in prayer for someone who needs prayer; my hands can touch the arms, backs and faces of dear precious babies and children fighting cancer; my hands can hold a parent’s hand who is in a most desperate place.

I want my hands to bring joy by lots of clapping and celebrating what God does and I want my hands to reach out to those I would have been scared to reach out to. My hands will rest on the keyboard of my computer teaching many how to spread their own mission for Christ online and my hands will wipe my own tears this year.

His hands created me and they shaped me for this specific time, for a very specific purpose …

“The people I have shaped for myself will broadcast my praises.” -Isaiah 43:21

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About Vera:

Vera Raposo is involved with the marketing & technical side of SheLoves Magazine. She has been an entrepreneur since 1996 which included owning five retail stores. Recently God told her to “clear her plate and open her heart.” So she sold her business and is now listening for God’s heart in her life. Vera was born and raised in beautiful British Columbia. She’s a wife & mom to three wonderful kids. She often blogs at VeraRaposo.com, helps others realize their online dreams at ClickCreateShare.com and tweets from @veraraposo.

Losing my Job, But Finding God’s Goodness

“Just when I think my tank is running low and I have no more joy to run on, God gives me reason to smile.”

By Winnie Lui | Twitter: @INTELsashimi

This summer, I left my stable desk job to pursue my dreams.

Well, actually, I didn’t leave voluntarily. I think God pushed me out of my dry and boring but accustomed lifestyle, to give me the chance to pursue something more.

In actual fact, I lost my job this summer. I didn’t like my job entirely. I don’t think it suited my strengths or passions, but I liked it because it was my security.

But in losing my job, I felt God ask me, “Who did you say was your security?”

I fumbled for an answer.

“I said–Well, I meant …”

There was no fooling God. So I spent this summer rebuilding my answer to the question of where I put my security. At the same time, I explored another life question. Now that I’m free of my former job, what am I meant to do?

For Christians, deciding what to do with their life has to do with finding God’s will. If our existence is from God and our aim is to honour Him, then we want to know what He thinks is the best course for our life.

Finding God’s will

The Skit Guys on YouTube show a very fun yet thoughtful message on the topic of knowing God’s will. In it, one character wonders what he should study, who he should marry, and whether to eat the leftover pastrami in the fridge.

Meanwhile, another wiser character comments that finding God’s will is about knowing what our passions and giftings are.

But what if I don’t know what I most like to do or what I’m best at? What if I like to do too many things?

I played with my questions all summer.

Knowing just enough

I really wanted to know what my future would look like. I wanted to know the entire picture, but as I discovered, God gave me just enough information to keep on trusting.

Sometimes the wait time between one piece of information to the next is long. While waiting, I fought anxiety and discouragement. I struggled to joyfully trust.

Yet, with God, encouragement came when I needed it most.

New experiences

This summer I had many new opportunities and experiences, which have inspired me.

I joined a multimedia collective of young, energetic and talented students who want to build an influential media presence in Vancouver that represents English-speaking Canadians of East-Asian heritage. I became one of the bloggers on their website devoted to Asian pop culture and local Asian-inspired events.

Through that endeavour, I met and interviewed a Taiwanese celebrity visiting Canada. I coordinated projects and took up leadership roles among my peers which built up my confidence and helped me discover my strengths.

Hope

I feel that in the journey with God, just when I think the night is too long, the sun rises again.

Last week, I wondered whether I might be experiencing some depression.

This week, I saw God opening doors for me.

I had four interviews this week. In two of them, I took a YouTube celebrity to try out the best places to eat and play in our city, and interviewed him on his experience for a magazine article.

In the other two, an emerging magazine and an international development organization interviewed me as a candidate for their staff.

Thankful

I think God is always enough.

Just when I think my tank is running low and I have no more joy to run on, God gives me reason to smile.

I have yet to write the magazine article and I have no idea about the conclusion of my job interviews, but this week, I felt that God loves me and remembers me.

God doesn’t give me the same as He gives others. He gives me what He has for me, and it will make me smile.

I don’t know what is around the bend in my future, but I know God loves me. God is gracious towards me in my weaknesses and worries and there’s great adventure and purpose ahead of me.

About Winnie:

The wave of Asian immigration in the 1990s brought Winnie to Canada on a little red-mast junk. To fulfill her family’s dream of running a business in Hong Kong and giving the children a Western education, Winnie’s father commuted home to Canada during Christmas and Chinese New Year, and Winnie herself spent her childhood between the two continents and among many different schools and neighbourhoods. Her growing up experience has become a mosaic of cultures, languages, and perspectives. Winnie blogs at intellectualsashimi.com and tweets @intelSASHIMI

Photo credit: georgeparrilla, Esther Weng

Seeking Eve Monday: On Trusting When it’s Scary

” … this year has shown me that my backup plans are useless when my world spins out of control.”

By Christina Crook
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The carelessness of childhood is, in its essence, the truest living of all.

It’s the perfect embrace of beauty. Of time and place. The unhurried presentness a seven-year-old has mastered in her 2,679 days of breathing in life.

She hasn’t had time to numb. She hasn’t yet descended into the torturous loss of perfect love. She hasn’t yet said goodbye to daddy, mommy. She hasn’t locked up the first, middle or last parts of her heart to save herself from the confusion of misdealt authority: teachers, politicians and preachers. Her eyes are still fierce with aim, clear as a glacial spring. She is new. She is here. She is now.

Jesus asked his disciples, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18)

Who among us is real like a child? Untethered. Unscripted. Abandoned in our love?

Our friend Emily is learning to live like a child all over again …

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My name is Emily Lucima.

Faith to me means trusting when it’s scary.

What I mean by that is when you lose a child, you and your husband lose your jobs, and your health declines all in the span of three months and you can’t see how life is going to turn around, you’re left with very few options – you’re left with what lives in your heart. You’re left with the truths you believe and have the opportunity to see how deeply you believe them, how strong your foundations are.

I have discovered that I have a lot more digging to do to strengthen my foundations. I used to worry. I used to be negative. I say “used to” because I am learning that’s not who I am created to be. I’m learning to speak what I know is positive and true regardless of what I see. I’m learning to trust when it’s scary.

These last few months have taught me that in 34 years of living, I had only trusted God as long as I had a backup plan: in case what he promised didn’t pan out. However, this year has shown me that my backup plans are useless when my world spins out of control. I am learning to admit when I don’t trust God, to take time to talk with him and tell him that I’m just not there. But then, more importantly, I am learning how to ask him to hold my hand and help me walk forward, choosing to trust him–even when I have no idea what tomorrow looks like or how any of this is going to change.

When I was little, I didn’t see this year coming. I had plans and dreams of what my life would look like and, truthfully, it didn’t look like this. On the flip side, my life looks a lot more like it did when I was six.

I grew up with amazing parents who worked hard and gave us the best of themselves. Though we didn’t have much at times, I can never remember lack in our house. I went to church weekly, was taught that I am loved greatly and deeply. I was taught that I am created for a purpose and was allowed to pursue my creativity with encouragement. I grew up just knowing that things were okay and that everything would work out somehow.

Somewhere along the way I forgot the simple things I knew as a child. I lived in the missed opportunities and the hurt. I learned to expect the negative. This crazy year (and my amazing husband) have taught me to remember what the six-year-old me knew so well: that things will be okay and that everything will work out.

My days are filled with the anticipation of things to come. God has restored my health and I believe for complete restoration before the year is out. This past year, provision came from places we never would have expected: people who love us helped us make ends meet at times and people we have never even met blessed us with what they had. God picked out two new jobs for me (literally – I got a phone call out of the blue and the other I stumbled across online) in two industries I never would have looked in, at companies I had never even thought of working at, where everyone loves to come to work. I now work with amazing women who love to encourage one another!

My days are filled with hope again. I’m learning to combine hope with “scary” faith in order to see the things I imagine come to life. I anticipate growing closer to the Father because I am realizing how much he loves me, how much I have been blessed with and how much more he wants to give.

I wish this year had been different. I often find myself wondering: “What if … ?” But I am learning to stop that train of thought, resolving to stop living in the past and start living for today.

A few weeks ago, I told a large group of people that this has been the worst year of my life. Shortly afterwards I realized that it’s not. This year of great tragedy has the potential to be our year of greatest victory because we’ve had so much to overcome!

The thing is: perspective. Instead of seeing this place as a deep dark hole I’m stuck in, Holy Spirit has shown me I can choose to see this as a purposeful time and place. Not a hole, but a building site: a place where I can work on digging deeper because I need a strong foundation for the amazing things I am going to build in my lifetime alongside my Lord and the great dreamer I call husband.

Today I give myself permission to be real about where I’m at in this walk we call “faith.” But I’m choosing not to live in yesterday. I’m choosing to tell Disappointment that I won’t be entertaining it. I’m learning to live from a place where I know that I don’t conduct the time and the seasons, so I hold a little less tightly to my plan and learn to be content.

I’m choosing to live and declare Psalm 28:7 “My heart trusts in him and I am helped.”

—–>>>You can read Emily’s blog Light Waters here.

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Would you like to contribute a Seeking Eve story?

I’d love to hear your story. Please share it by emailing Christina at seekingeve[@]gmail.com

To find words for your story, try following these lines, as Emily did:

Faith to me means [community / hope / food / sacrifice / art / etc] …

What I mean by that is …

When I was little I …

My days are filled with …

I wish …

The thing is …

Today I give myself permission …

About Christina:

Christina recently traded the seaside views of Bowen Island, BC for the banks of Toronto’s Humber River where she, her husband and two young children attend Grace Toronto Church. Her work has appeared in MUSE and Vancouver magazine, and is forthcoming in UPPERCASE, Geez and the Literary Review of Canada. She is the founder of SeekingEve.ca and blogs at www.christinacrook.com.