Losing my Job, But Finding God’s Goodness

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“Just when I think my tank is running low and I have no more joy to run on, God gives me reason to smile.”

This summer, I left my stable desk job to pursue my dreams.

Well, actually, I didn’t leave voluntarily. I think God pushed me out of my dry and boring but accustomed lifestyle, to give me the chance to pursue something more.

In actual fact, I lost my job this summer. I didn’t like my job entirely. I don’t think it suited my strengths or passions, but I liked it because it was my security.

But in losing my job, I felt God ask me, “Who did you say was your security?”

I fumbled for an answer.

“I said–Well, I meant …”

There was no fooling God. So I spent this summer rebuilding my answer to the question of where I put my security. At the same time, I explored another life question. Now that I’m free of my former job, what am I meant to do?

For Christians, deciding what to do with their life has to do with finding God’s will. If our existence is from God and our aim is to honour Him, then we want to know what He thinks is the best course for our life.

Finding God’s will

The Skit Guys on YouTube show a very fun yet thoughtful message on the topic of knowing God’s will. In it, one character wonders what he should study, who he should marry, and whether to eat the leftover pastrami in the fridge.

Meanwhile, another wiser character comments that finding God’s will is about knowing what our passions and giftings are.

But what if I don’t know what I most like to do or what I’m best at? What if I like to do too many things?

I played with my questions all summer.

Knowing just enough

I really wanted to know what my future would look like. I wanted to know the entire picture, but as I discovered, God gave me just enough information to keep on trusting.

Sometimes the wait time between one piece of information to the next is long. While waiting, I fought anxiety and discouragement. I struggled to joyfully trust.

Yet, with God, encouragement came when I needed it most.

New experiences

This summer I had many new opportunities and experiences, which have inspired me.

I joined a multimedia collective of young, energetic and talented students who want to build an influential media presence in Vancouver that represents English-speaking Canadians of East-Asian heritage. I became one of the bloggers on their website devoted to Asian pop culture and local Asian-inspired events.

Through that endeavour, I met and interviewed a Taiwanese celebrity visiting Canada. I coordinated projects and took up leadership roles among my peers which built up my confidence and helped me discover my strengths.

Hope

I feel that in the journey with God, just when I think the night is too long, the sun rises again.

Last week, I wondered whether I might be experiencing some depression.

This week, I saw God opening doors for me.

I had four interviews this week. In two of them, I took a YouTube celebrity to try out the best places to eat and play in our city, and interviewed him on his experience for a magazine article.

In the other two, an emerging magazine and an international development organization interviewed me as a candidate for their staff.

Thankful

I think God is always enough.

Just when I think my tank is running low and I have no more joy to run on, God gives me reason to smile.

I have yet to write the magazine article and I have no idea about the conclusion of my job interviews, but this week, I felt that God loves me and remembers me.

God doesn’t give me the same as He gives others. He gives me what He has for me, and it will make me smile.

I don’t know what is around the bend in my future, but I know God loves me. God is gracious towards me in my weaknesses and worries and there’s great adventure and purpose ahead of me.

________________

Photo credit: georgeparrilla, Esther Weng

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Winnie Lui

Winnie Lui

The wave of Asian immigration in the 1990s brought Winnie to Canada on a little red-mast junk. To fulfill her family’s dream of running a business in Hong Kong and giving the children a Western education, Winnie’s father commuted home to Canada during Christmas and Chinese New Year, and Winnie herself spent her childhood between the two continents and among many different schools and neighbourhoods. Her growing up experience has become a mosaic of cultures, languages, and perspectives.
Winnie Lui
Winnie Lui