Sarah, God is For You

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“You are waiting for him to give you some big purpose. You are waiting for him to tell you that you haven’t done enough yet. But He just wants you to know that He is for you.”

I’ve always been the kind of person who volunteers for things, not because I want to do them, but because volunteers are in short supply.

If I am being honest I should tell you that I do not care for children’s ministry, but somehow the shortage of volunteers beckons me and I find myself on the floor with a sticky two-year-old and a million goldfish cracker crumbs. Or doing construction after Hurricane Katrina obliterated New Orleans. I hated it. Yes, hated. For a year I was sweaty and covered in dirt and paint and drywall dust. But it had to be done, so I showed up.

Being the single, childless, pet-free twenty-something made me available for pretty much anything. So I packed my days with work and art and volunteering and friends and anything else I could get my hands on and I’ve mostly enjoyed it. But something has always been missing and I can’t ever sit still long enough to find out what that something is.

And then I was hit by a truck.

No, literally. My little car was demolished by a UPS truck and my broken body was planted in bed for six weeks. And my wanderer heart was restless. If I wasn’t the traveler who could pick up and go anytime she wanted, then who was I?

For the first time in a very long time I had to be still and quiet.

And a friend’s words rang in the quietness:

“Sarah, God is for you.”

I know.

“No. Sarah, He is for you.”

I know.

“No you don’t. You are waiting for instructions. You are waiting for him to give you some big purpose. You are waiting for him to tell you that you haven’t done enough yet. But He just wants you to know that He is for you.”

And just then, in bed with a fractured pelvis it was as if I was meeting God for the first time. All the wonder of His love and power overwhelmed me as tears streamed down my face and hurts from my past melted away. Even lying still without the ability to walk, I knew I was unstoppable. My heart had finally caught up to all the work my hands and feet were willing to be a part of.

So now I stand, ready for what needs to be done, but I’m not waiting for it to give my life value or purpose; I’m standing because God lifted my heart out of the darkness and I’m ready for Him to use me however He wants.

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” —Isaiah 6:8

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