Wellness Wednesday: How I Learned to Love All of Myself

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“I had a hard time being vulnerable because I thought I was doing something bad or wrong by letting myself shine and be beautiful.”

By Amelia Englemark | Twitter: @AmyEnglemark

Since I was a teenager, I dreamed of falling in love with a man who would call me “Babe”. I knew someone who often referred to his wife as “Babe” and I could tell by his endearing words that he loved her through and through.

I wanted a man who would love me like that, from the inside out.

Well, I found my man and he calls me “Babe” on a regular basis, even though I never mentioned my teenage dream. I’m confident that I’m his “babe” in every way—physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually—but I wasn’t always so sure.

For quite a while I was actually uncomfortable in the role of “babe,” despite having longed for it for so many years. Because of my past experiences, I had come to believe that a “babe’s” beauty was primarily external. I wanted something different. I wanted the unseen parts of me—my character and spirit—to be noticed and loved, not just the external parts. I believed my external looks were valuable but that everything else inside me wasn’t being noticed or cared for.

Paralyzed by Lies

My beliefs about myself hindered my actions for too many years. I held back from being overly friendly because I thought that being friendly attracted the wrong kind of attention, that I would attract  attract people who would love me and then leave.

Allowing myself to hold these beliefs meant that I often experienced guilt. When I was friendly or smiled around men I felt like I was doing something bad. But what chose to believe filtered down into how I thought and ultimately how I chose to act.

A part of me always knew those beliefs weren’t true, but I sure allowed them to keep a strong hold on me.

Feeding on Truth

My husband was instrumental in helping me change specific beliefs about myself. We would talk through my beliefs a lot, until I was able to recognize what the truth was and what new belief I would choose to adopt. He would adamantly and continually tell me how valuable I was. Over and over again he would speak truth into me. I felt like I was being fed with love.

At first the morsels he fed me were tasteless, like I had lost my taste for truth or had burnt my tongue and couldn’t tell the difference between dry toast and a fresh, juicy fig. Then I started to believe the truth he was speaking, that every part of me is loveable. That’s when my sense of taste came back. Spices, herbs, pastry. You name it, I could taste it.

In the beginning of our marriage, I had a hard time being vulnerable because I thought I was doing something bad or wrong by letting myself shine and be beautiful. I now know that every part of me is valuable and that letting my light shine is a good thing … a really good thing. What great knowledge. What security and confidence that brings.

My view of beauty itself has also broadened. Beauty is only partly external. It is shown in what I believe, how I think, what I talk about, in the decisions I make and the actions I take.

I’m thankful I was able to pinpoint my limiting beliefs and create new empowering ones. It wasn’t easy for me to acknowledge my beliefs and I didn’t change them overnight, but my life has dramatically improved because of the new beliefs I now live by.

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My dear SheLoves friends, please consider these questions with me:

  • Are you aware of a personal belief that limits you?
  • What new belief can you create that will empower you?
  • Who do you have in your life that feeds you with truth?
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About Amy:

I am a Certified Professional Career and Life Coach through the International Coach Academy. I empower executives and entrepreneurs to find and pursue their career passion. I am thankful for passion in my career and relationships and want others to enjoy the same. If you’d like to find out how to move forward towards the career and life you’ve only dreamed of, you can get to know me at www.amyenglemark.com. I love hiking, mountain biking, travelling and any sort of adventure.

I like to jump from the highest rock into the deepest water.

I like to shout for joy.

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