The Light That Led Me Home


By Nicole T. Walters | Twitter: @NicoleTWalters


I remember the warm glow of that tiny bulb shining down on the mossy cradle that held baby Jesus. My favorite part of Christmas growing up was being the one to rush in each evening and plug the manger in, watching the peaceful scene light up with the warmth that little light brought.

I would sit at the manger in the glow of the Christmas tree and just stare at the picture I knew little about. I didnt really hear the story behind the manger, growing up in a home that focused more on presents than on the Jesus of Christmas. But still there was just something about sitting at His feet that moved me.

I was hungry for a taste of Jesus, not knowing where to start. I asked my mom for a Bible for my eighth Christmas. I remember the sound of the spine cracking the first time I opened that King James Version Bible with the white lacy cover my mom hand-made for me. I poured over the stories I didnt understand.

My mom may not have taught me much about the Christmas story growing up. Still there was something in her that guided me towards what it meant to seek after the holy moments, that honored my seeking.

When that little baby in a manger became real to me, and to her about a decade after that, we stood side by side in a Christmas Eve service. The candles we held flickered and I thought about the light of that manger scene, leading me to something I knew I needed but didnt even understand at the time.

I imagine the shepherds as they saw that star for the first time, the one that faded bulb represents. I wonder if it caught them by surprise that night or perhaps if they were looking for it all along. Like me, they were waiting and expecting but didnt know how or when He would come. Surely they didnt understand in that moment all that star was going to mean for the world!

Of course that humble manger wasnt what anyone expected. Dirty shepherds were the last people anyone would believe would welcome the coming King.

I have always felt like those shepherds, caught unaware. I dont know why God would have chosen to pursue me all those years ago, put this longing in a childs heart to seek after something I couldnt even name.

But God loves to show up in unexpected places, to unworthy people.  

Every December I place the many mangers I have collected over the years, many gifted to me by my mother, all over my house as Christmas approaches. I think Ill always love to sit in front of them, at the feet of Jesus, in awe of one who came for me back then.

Who came for me as a child.

Who comes for me over and over again.


About Nicole:

Nicole WaltersI am a wife, working mom, and writer that lives south of Atlanta, Georgia. I am passionate about Jesus and His heart for the nations, and I love to experience the messy, noisy, beautiful world and cultures not my own. I write about faith and being on mission with God wherever He has placed you at A Voice in the Noise.