The Sweetness of Marinating



The past six months have been crammed full of chaos.

I hurt someone I care about deeply, because I couldn’t be what he needed me to be. My parked car was shot at and now the wind whistles through the hole in my windshield. I was fired from my job at the café where I loved so many people. And this week I dropped a ladder on my house and broke a window.

I ought to be having a meltdown right about now. My sister will attest that there have been bad days where I have used fun phrases about fans and fecal matter. But I’m pretty sure I’m doing okay right now.

In February I waltzed past my 29th birthday. For the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like I needed to be more than I am. I didn’t need to think about who I am going to be. I just spent the day being it.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m finding my sweet spot—where the world isn’t sunny and bright all the time, but at least I can see that it will be again.

Maybe it’s that even amid the chaos, I’m not rushing forward. I think I’m just … marinating.

I’m soaking in a whole lot of grace and generosity and also heartache and distress. I have no idea what this sweet, salty brine will produce in my life, but at worst, more fodder for my memoir, right?

In my marinating, I am calm. And that calm scares me just a little. If you know me, then you know I am not calm. I am wired and high-strung. I have no fewer than six projects at one time and have packed my schedule down to 15-minute increments. I talk fast, I move fast, I drive fast.

I’m still that high-strung, ambitious woman filling my schedule with too many projects for the hours allotted. I’m still working two jobs and building a house and starting a business. But I’m also learning the way of rest.

I am drenched in peace.

Maybe this is what “peace that surpasses understanding” really feels like.


Sarah Joslyn
I’m more likely to answer to Sars than Sarah. That’s because years ago my brothers started calling me Sars and, as the name implies, it was infectious. I’m a self-proclaimed writer-photographer-Jesuslover-painter-adventurer-foodie. I have a near obsession with ending injustice and I’m a sucker for a good cause. I blog about life and building a tiny house at
Sarah Joslyn
Sarah Joslyn

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