Bone and Skin and Revelation

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holly grantham -bone and skin and revelation-3

It is a strange thing
to live in a body
To be a person
cloaked in skin that
curves and bends
in particular places

For a time,
my person,
that luminous, humming
being
embedded in among
bone and sinew
was more witness.
For a time
it seemed my body was me.

When my body first bled
suddenly, I was someone
I had never been.
Marked, by a threshold,
I was.
And betrayal and liberation burned
On my lips
like embers.

There were years
when my skin blistered with
adolescence
and my hips spread
in ways new and unknown.
Everything about my body was
perplexing and muddied.

Other years,
the ones strung clumsily on threads
thin and worn,
my body
called forth gazes and advances and
fingers.
Some desired but
most
not.
Underneath and inside of it all
my person,
she froze.

There were softer years,
years when I surrendered in ways
beautiful and expansive,
giving myself over to a
walking-around-love and
joy shapes
and
light.

I’ve also used my body like
a calculator,
gauging my worth,
my ability to attract,
to beguile,
betray.
I have added up all those sums.

The truth?
What I really want?
I want to spread wide my arms
and pull these two universes—
the one of Be-ing and being—
together.
I want to breathe holy fire over them,
forge them
body and spirit,
bone and soul,
light and dark.

I want all the metaphors
and nuance and
quiet revelation to
settle
I want my person to
embody every inch of
bone and skin.
What I want is
for her
to
rise.

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