I Am Undone

In my therapy session this week (yes, I talk to a therapist every week and have done so for 25 years), the word that emerged was: undone. Exactly right. The entire session had felt like a chaotic purge of some sort, one story after another came tumbling out, seemingly unconnected. And yet, as she so […]

Becoming

I wish I were, but I’m not. I wish I were wise and good and gentle and kind. I wish I were delightful and loving and caring. I wish I were calm and demure. I wish I were gracious and humble. I wish I were chill and even-keeled and steady. I wish I were forgiving […]

Slow Everything Down

I’m a fast person. I type fast. I walk fast. I talk fast. I get tasks done fast. I’m just not a tortoise; I’m definitely a hare. My husband, Jose, always teases me that I can do the same task as him in half the time. This is a good quality in some ways. I […]

I Thought My Marriage Was a Huge Mistake (It Wasn’t)

Our shame is the enemy of someone else’s success. I scribbled this sentence on the back of an old Taco Bell receipt and stuck it on our fridge the night of our first counseling session. We had been married less than six months and I felt like I had ruined both our lives when I […]

First, the Tomb

The rain falls steadily, beating against the translucent plastic of the skylight across the hall from where I write. It’s a drumbeat that reminds me that fruitfulness requires dark, wet days. Lots and lots of dark, wet days. Life continues to teach me that there is no resurrection without the darkness of death; there is […]