Carrying and Miscarrying

By Rachel Asres | @raykkel I carried her for nine weeks. I suppose I don’t really know it was a her; it’s just a feeling I have. We would have named her Imogen—made in the image of God, the One who knit her together. She was at once an answer to prayers and a total […]

Thankful For All the Wrong Things

I birthed my first babe a week ago. My unwashed hair is scraped into a lazy bun, my eyes sunken from lack of sleep. I’ve been wearing the same pajamas for days. Shuffling to and from the bathroom is a major event now, and I’m embarrassed by how difficult those few pathetic steps are. It […]

When Silence Can’t Be Heard

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” -Tori Amos I am naked. There is a boy with some sort of facial hair watching me. I am not sure what they gave me, but I know I don’t have a bra on. (Apparently that […]

Things I Have Observed in Silence

I am six years old. The bathtub is full of mediocre bubbles. I am on my back and my hair is floating around my head like so much kelp in the water. The ceiling straight above me has an aging water stain from the ice storm the year before. I stay there until the water […]

The Hope for Which We Now Labor

It’s true what mothers say about forgetting the pain of childbirth. My births are now seven and nine-and-a-half years ago and I have to strain to remember the details. Giving birth is a moment we spend countless hours preparing for. It is the culmination of reading and birthing classes, showers, reordering our lives and homes, […]